To raise awareness and funds for Ormiston's work, I am to be arrested on 15th October for the heinous crime of:

 

'Leaving a well-known local restaurant without paying the bill  and stealing a bottle of Dom Perignon to consume on the way home'

 

Despite my being caught on CCTV, I will prove my innocence! Please help secure my release by donating to this very worthy cause.

Thank you!