Hi I'm Alice. I have PTSD and suffer with anxiety. I still find that difficult to write but a big part of my journey has been acceptance and loving myself regardless of what difficulties or struggles I may face. I have realised how my trauma has changed and affected me now in adulthood. I used to see it as something that I could never get passed when it tried to break me. It used to overwhelm me and paralyse me at times. It used to take my dreams and aspirations away . It took people away from me and I saw it as this massively negative part of me. But as I'm sat here today I no longer feel this way. Yes at times it is massively challenging and it feels disabling but I am learning the more you fight something and don't listen the worse it gets. I am working on accepting this, hearing this and acknowledging it is as part of me . But I won't let it control me or define what I do with my life. It has made me a very strong person and given me so much gratitude and empathy in my life. And I am determined to learn how I can help myself and make the most out of life. Having a mental illness can be exhausting and debilitating. It can also come with alot of shame, guilt and isolation. The ups and downs feeling like your on a rollercoaster constantly. And having so much whirling around your head like a tornado and trying to quieten the mind is something I'm still working on today. But I know it can be done. Luckily over the years I have picked up great techniques and tools from some amazing people to add to my self care toolbox but I've realised how I sometimes only seem to reach for all these in my most desperate times. For someone like me these tools need to become habit. And it is about trial and error what will work for you. It is very personal so don't give up keep searching and finding what works for you. It's about a healthy lifestyle that helps to manage my symptoms and allows me to achieve all I hope to in my life. Which is alot! I am very driven and ambitious. I have a great passion and love for nature and the outdoors. My happy place is out birdwatching/ looking at wildlife and nature, listening to natural sounds around me and being consumed by it. I love seabirds and islands and my time spent on skomer back in 2019 was one of the best things I've done so far in my life. To be in the presence of a seabird colony is like being hit in the senses by mother natures most amazing orchestra. The sights of the busy seabirds fighting to keep their positions on the cliff face, the overwhelming smell of guana which packs a fierce punch! And the almighty sounds of the individual birds that make this wonderful seabird orchestra. It's probably my favourite sound in the whole world. I am in awe of how powerful and impressive seabirds are. Whenever I picture this seabird orchestra in my mind it takes me back to skomer and I smile from ear to ear. I can see, smell and hear this in my mind. This for me reminds me how special and amazing life is in those dark times when my anxiety tries to tell me things won't get better. I know they do. They always do.