Five years ago in August 2021, my life changed forever when told during our routine pregnancy scan that it looked like our baby was severely unwell.

After further blood tests, procedures and scans, our worst fears were confirmed. If our little girl, Alice, managed to survive to full term she would have a very short life expectancy which would've been managed immediately under the palliative care team.

We made the most horrendous decision to end our pregnancy of our very much loved and wanted baby and I gave birth to Alice on 11 September. Baby loss is still such a taboo conversation. A termination for medical reasons (TFMR) is a taboo within a taboo.

Trying to find specific baby loss counselling afterwards was shockingly difficult. It hardly exists. I reached out to Petals (a pregnancy and baby loss charity) and was devastatingly told "No". They unfortunately couldn't help as they didn't work within my local hospital where we lived at the time and as such a small charity, didn't have capacity to take me on.

No-one should ever be told "no" during their most vulnerable time, when asking for help.

Roll round to 2023 when pregnant with Oliver, in our new house and different hospital which Petals do work with I was finally able to receive the crucial counselling I so desperately needed.

My counsellor, Bev, was quite honestly incredible. Pregnancy after loss is hard. Really hard. Bev helped me navigate through this and was invaluable when I suffered severe Post Natal Depression after the birth of Oliver.

It is a sad reality that in the UK, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, 1 in 200 babies will be stillborn every year, over 5000 pregnancies will be terminated for medical reasons each year, and 24 babies die shortly after birth every single week.

I am not a runner. I have never run anywhere - not even for a bus, I'd always just get the next one! So taking on the London Royal Parks Half Marathon on Sunday 11 October is a huge challenge for me; but losing a baby is horrendous, it changes you for life. For this reason I would like to raise as much money as I can for this wonderful charity and finally give something back to them.

I cannot express how much Petals helped me and how I'll always be forever grateful to them for helping me to learn how to live life alongside living with my grief of losing Alice.

Wish me luck, I am absolutely going to need it!

🌸

Petals deliver hundreds of counselling sessions every month. Each session costs £80, I would like my sponsorship to fund as many sessions as possible, so many more parents can be supported.

Every donation counts!

🌸£20 will contribute towards one counselling session for a bereaved family.

🌸£80 will fund one specialist counselling session for a bereaved family.

🌸£500 will fund a full counselling package for a bereaved family.