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For those that aren’t already aware, back in June 2022, whilst away on a family holiday in Lisbon, my brother James died by suicide. To say it's been devastating feels like an understatement. He was undoubtedly the most influential person in my life, and I really miss him.

James was 34 when he died. As I turned 35 this year, I have felt compelled to take on a physical challenge in his memory. The year I’ve outlived him, is the year I’ve found the strength to honor him in a way that feels most apt.

One of our shared passions was cycling. He was no doubt a big part of why I got into it, and we did a lot of it together. It feels fitting to do something that was personal to both of us and something that we'd have enjoyed doing together. I want it to be something that will pay tribute to him, in a way that feels right.

I need this to be something truly challenging, something that gets me out of my comfort zone, train hard for and (hopefully) be proud of achieving. I also want it to be an opportunity to seek connection; to connect with myself, my grief and hopefully in the process, better connect with others on the difficult subject of mental health, bereavement and suicide.

The ambition is that it will be part of James' legacy - to be a wake-up call and a call to action; to check in with your friends and family… to look out for each-other.

The Challenge

The challenge I’ve taken on is made up of three parts:

1) La Marmotte (France) // Sunday 22nd June

Touted as the hardest one-day road Sportive in Europe, La Marmotte takes in four iconic climbs in the French Alpes; the Glandon, Télégraphe, Galibier and Alpe d'Huez.

Covering 175.8 km with over 5,000 metres of climbing (and James’s speciality - descending!) … it feels like a fitting challenge.

I’m doing this leg of the challenge with three friends, Ed, Greg and Alex. Aside from being great friends, the fact all three knew James, knowing him affectionately as ‘Jimmy the Jet’, a nickname awarded for his fearless mountain descents, makes this company even more special.

2) IRONMAN Leeds // Sunday 27th July

I've been getting into triathlon recently, and although a sport James would not necessarily have loved doing himself, it's something that has done a lot of good for me, giving me strength both physically and mentally when I needed it.. so felt like the right year for this too.

I chose Leeds as this is where James went to university, which I know was a very happy time in his life. We also have happy memories there together, which I very much want to keep alive.

3) Lands End to John o’Groats // Sunday 31st August - Sunday 14th September

The last leg of the challenge will be to take on the cycle from Lands End to John o’Groats.

Back in 2021, James actually made plans to do this ride himself, but alas, never got the chance to make it a reality. After his passing, I discovered a file named ‘lejog’ on my laptop that he’d borrowed at the time. It was clear that it was on his bucket-list, which is why it’s now firmly on mine, and why it feels like the rightful final leg to this challenge.

I’m very fortunate to be riding this leg with Mark, a family friend. I’m privileged to have Mark as my cycling partner and honorary Road Captain for LEJOG. We'll also have the luxury of a support vehicle, with my wonderful parents at the helm, Laura & Steve.

This part of the challenge is an open invite event. We’ll be completing this challenge over a two-week period, over 14 stages. We want to do this to ensure we make this challenge not only achievable, but one that we can experience in full, and hopefully connect with people along the way.

If anyone else is interested in joining us, please feel free to get in touch and we’ll be happy to share the stage by stage strava route and hopefully coordinate some group rides...and for any non-cyclists out there, I’m also planning an opportunistic ascent of Ben Nevis on September 11th. My incredible sister Frances and a few friends (old and new) are joining for this, but if anyone happens to find themselves in Fort William then.. I’d absolutely love to see you there!

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For this challenge, I’m supporting CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably), a brilliant small charity doing incredible work in leading a movement against suicide, the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in the UK.

Anyone can hit crisis point. CALM run a free and confidential helpline and webchat 7 hours a day, 7 days a week for anyone who needs to talk about lifes problems.

- £12.20 could fund a potentially lifesaving call

- £120 can help 10 people talk about and manage suicidal thoughts

- £625 can fund research for online resources that help people struggling to find the support they need

The sad truth is that nothing can ever bring James back. It feels like this might always be hard for some of us to come to terms with, but what motivates me and gives me hope, is that if any donation, conversation or action arising from this tragedy is able to help someone or even prevent someone else from taking their life, then I feel this is something worth striving for.

Finally, thank you to everyone for taking the time to read my story. Whether we know each other or not, if anything has resonated or stirred something in you, I’d love nothing more than that feeling to translate into positive action.

Andy xx