I worked with Aiden back in Southampton in both TGI Fridays as well as Papillon, an independent restaurant/bar. He felt like a right-hand-man for a lot of that journey.

He was incredibly helpful, friendly and a great mate. We had a lot of laughs together hanging out, in and out of work. You could hear his cackle of a laugh a mile away!

He left the business last Summer to work for Starling Bank and I’m so glad he was enjoying himself. He often helped bartending at one-off busy events. He helped me out for a busy work event on Saturday 19th November 2022. During his shift he was bounding up the stairs after me, shaking cocktails and pouring pints for several hours and giving other people a hand getting them out of the weeds. At the end of his shift I thanked him, paid him, hugged him, agreed we’d go meet for a drink once I could reduce my workload below 80 hours a week and he left. Not a chance I imagined that was the last time I was going to see him.

He passed away on the Tuesday 21st November whilst at home with his partner from a sudden cardiac arrest. I was in London enjoying a meal out with school friends for birthday celebrations in Blacklock City at the time he passed.

Nobody who knew him saw it coming. I found out the next morning because a colleague at work had found out and messaged me. Going into Christmas season whilst running a restaurant with zero GM experience whilst also trying to uplift others really messed me up.

The funeral was 1 month later. I drank myself to sleep the night before, going through 2 bottles of red wine and half a bottle of whiskey. I woke up at 6am to get ready to travel to Portsmouth and I just couldn’t open my front door to leave. I broke down, smashed furniture. I missed the funeral. Biggest regret of my life so far. I stayed in bed for 3 days, called in sick for work for a week and didn’t speak to anyone. A couple months later I decided I wanted to leave Southampton and try to make the move to London. I did and I’m happy and improving my life. But I upped and left without saying any goodbyes or anything to most people I’d spent up to 6 years working with, hanging out with etc. Typical male lone wolf behaviour I guess.

Without a doubt, I’m not the only person reading this that has experienced something similar. People pass away and that’s how it goes. All the rest of us can do is try and support others and do things to remember them - at the time I don’t think I did a very good job and became riddled with guilt. After self-reflecting, I held myself accountable for missing the funeral and so I want to do something to help.

I will use my two feet to get me from Southampton to London, over 80 miles. In one go. I’m hoping in less than a day. I’ll run, walk and crawl if I have to.

The longest distance I’ve run before in one go was a half marathon in 1hr 38mins over 2.5 years ago (13.1 miles, 16% of this 80 mile challenge). In the last couple of months I’ve been training with 5km-15km runs.

I have no idea what to expect, how to prepare or even if my body is physically capable of doing this.

I’ll use whatever mind-over-matter trick to push on but I just know that I will get it done.

After reflecting on Aiden’s passing, and a recent family cancer diagnosis and recovery, I’ve realised life can turn or be taken at any point and you just cannot guess when. So I’m committing myself to doing things I want to (and saying no to things I don’t want to do) and crazy things like an 80 mile run!

Sudden Cardiac Arrest UK provides resources, support and information to help sudden cardiac arrest survivors and families navigate recovery after an SCA.

This is for Aiden’s memory. Side effects will be widening the comfort zone, achieving a crazy physical feat, then wondering what next I can do to top it.

I think humans are meant to climb a difficult mountain, admire the view for a little bit, then find the next, more difficult mountain to climb - physically, mentally and metaphorically.

Rest in peace Aiden

900

CR