“One of the worst things that can happen to a person is to be forgotten by someone they will never forget”

As so many of you will know my mum, Cheryl, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2020. A diagnosis that although we were expecting shattered our hearts and disrupted our lives. Alzheimer’s is an old persons disease I once thought but mum was 58 when she got the diagnosis. 58 but looking back the signs had been there for a while before. 

My mum, Cheryl, was the epitome of the strong woman. A single mother that worked tirelessly to raise her children, struggled to ensure we had all we needed, had our backs whenever we needed (even with a baseball bat in her car to protect us from dodgy car dealers - great story). She wasn’t just strong though she was funny and kind, my kids called her crazy nanny as she was always ‘different’, I wouldn’t have got through the first few years of raising them without her constant babysitting and support. 

Raising herself from a young age and having kids early would be too much for a lot of people but mum did it and I am so proud to be her daughter. 

Watching this once luminous woman fade has been heartbreaking, the woman that could talk for hours now struggles to be understood; the woman that would cook us meals and look after us is now near helpless and we have become her carers. My youngest brother who should be living his best life has taken on the mantle of her main carer, has put his life on hold for the woman that gave up hers for us. 

We have the battle of watching our mum disappear whilst also having the fear that this disease that has robbed us of her is likely genetic and may hit one or all of us one day. Anytime I forget anything, from where I put my keys or which child I’m shouting for, I have a momentary fear that this is it, the beginning of the end. 

My friends and family have been what has stopped me from lying on the floor, a broken mess and I’m so grateful for them, for the love they have given me and the love they have for my mum. And now some of them have agreed to join me in taking on another challenge, to walk 55km from Eastbourne to Hove. On 2nd September me (Zara/Tanya), Aisling, Donna, Jo, Katy and Lou will be going for a long walk (possibly jog…).

I am definitely strength over endurance so this is not going to be easy but together we will complete it. In honour of my mummy, that is enduring losing herself; in honour of my lil bro that has a strength and compassion that astounds me; in honour of all the families that are also facing this trauma and heartbreak, those that have lost their loved ones time and time again until their final goodbyes. 

The money raised will go to Alzheimer’s Society who support those inflicted with this disease and their families; it will help with research and care. There is no cure for Alzheimer’s, yet but with charitable donations maybe one day they’ll find one and in the meantime they can continue supporting families through a devastating journey. As a team we are hoping to raise £2500, this will go so far to support against this disease. Please give anything you can, please share this page; for me but more importantly for my mum. 

A poem I saw that resonated -

“She is leaving me, little by little I wish she wouldn’t go. I will be there as long as she needs me. How do I let her know? I’d like to hold onto the memories. I’d also like to share. But she is further away, getting further away.

And yet, she’s always there. It’s a long goodbye, And yet I believe that she can sense us. So much time between now and then, when it’s time against us. There are times when she almost seems like herself. Sometimes it’s just a phase. A part of the person I once knew, And sometimes just a trace. 

It’s a long goodbye and I still don’t know what to say. There’s so much time between now and then, Because she goes away, a long goodbye. Tell me how do all the others do it? There’s so much time between now and then, How do we get through it? It’s a long goodbye.”