Police Care UK makes sure both serving and former police colleagues who suffer harm, and their families, have someone to when things get tough.

We provide practical, emotional, and financial support that is confidential, independent and accessible.

Our mission is to reduce the impact of harm on police and their families. We do this by ensuring everyone is aware of the harm police experience, enable people to recover and rebuild their lives, and engage with the police service to do all they can to reduce or prevent harm.

I chose to raise money for Police Care UK following my diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This is my way of saying thank you for the help and support that I received through Cleveland Police. I will stress at this point that my PTSD was not caused or exacerbated by my duties as a police officer.

Hopefully, I make the finish line on the 3rd of May. Thank you in advance for your kind support and donations. Police officers do an exceptionally difficult job, experience trauma on a regular basis, and must find the courage and energy to keep doing what they do. Your donations will help ensure that they continue to get the help and support that they need and deserve.

Should you wish to read about my experiences with PTSD then please read on. Note, I do not wish to upset or worry any of my family or friends who I have not talked to about this. Just know that I am finally at a point where I am starting to feel better and comfortable talking about it.

Long story short, I have had a rough paper round. I have witnessed and experienced horrible things throughout my life which I have struggled to compartmentalise and make peace with. I have tried to put my personal experience with this condition into words to describe how my symptoms manifested and presented to raise awareness.

My PTSD symptoms manifested over several years prior to joining the police. By the later stages I began to struggle with day-to-day life; unaware that I had the condition.

Hypervigilance was the most noticeable symptom for me, along with anxiety and depression. I always had a heightened sense that something bad was about to happen. I could never relax. Been around people became incredibly hard, but I also feared being alone as this would trigger overwhelming feelings of loneliness. I would often flinch at the smallest thing and flashbacks became frequent and brutal.

I dreaded going to bed and would fight sleep. This was because I would sometimes find myself being attacked in my sleep, reliving the distressing incidents, causing me to punch out, hitting anything in arm’s reach. I remember diving out of bed one night, full on sprinting into the wall, busting my nose open. I would wake up feeling exhausted, terrified, and as though I had whiplash. This took its toll on me over time. As much as I wanted to reach out at the time, I didn’t; through embarrassment, or fear that I would not be believed. The truth be told, I wasn’t sure at the time how to explain what was going on.

My wife told me to see my GP to discuss what was happening, but my PTSD symptoms were not noticed. Been in the military at the time, the self-bravado, coupled with phrases like ‘man-up’ and the feeling that you were letting people down, delayed me in the doing this sooner. Fast forward nearly 7 years, I finally got the help and support needed and I am now in a much better place.