I first met Niamh in July 2015 while I was working at Lush in Brighton. During our shift, we were encouraged to carry out a “Random Act of Kindness.” When she came into the store, we got chatting about animal rights, veganism, and our shared dislike of the hot, muggy weather. At the till, I made sure a gifted Blackberry bath bomb found its way into her bag, along with a little handwritten note. I was called away shortly after, but I later found out that Niamh had left her phone number with a colleague to pass on to me - and the rest, as they say, is history.

From the start, everything was just perfect. We had so much in common - our views on politics, our sense of humour, and the food we loved. We built our life around the little, silly things - laughing so hard at terrible jokes that our stomachs hurt, or playing music together after a few drinks - her on the flute and me on the sax - ending up in fits of giggles (sorry, Worthing neighbours!). One of my favourite memories is getting completely lost on the way to Alton Towers. It could have been stressful, but instead we just laughed and took a silly selfie. We had no idea where we were, but we found joy in it anyway.

But alongside all of that, she had an incredible depth of compassion. She cared deeply about animals, and that showed in everything she did. What started as helping a friend look after her pet rats quickly became something more - she would take in the ones that were unwanted, unwell, or labelled “aggressive,” and they would turn out to be the gentlest, most loving little characters. She even became an admin on rat rescue and rehoming Facebook groups, so I would come home from work to surprise new rat friends. And of course, that love for rats came with its own chaos. One night, she thought it was the funniest thing in the world to get slightly tipsy, let all the rats out, and leave me to find and return them to their cage. It was absolute mayhem, but completely her - and now it’s one of those memories that just makes me smile thinking about it.

She gave just as much to the people around her. She worked as a private carer for a profoundly disabled boy, Matty, and the bond they had was incredible and they were truly inseparable. At the same time, she was studying to become a children’s nurse at the University of Brighton. We were both so excited for the life we were building and everything that was ahead of us. A favourite story is from when she was taking Matty out for the day in his adapted van. She was waving to his mum as she reversed off the drive and merrily crunched the wing mirror straight into a tree that had definitely always been there. It was just so her with slight whirlwind energy, and completely unapologetically herself.

On her birthday in 2017, I proposed and she said yes. We had always talked about the future, but from that moment it all felt real. Disney was a huge part of our lives together. We went to Disneyland Paris a couple of times, and it was there that I proposed. I remember being full of nerves, completely in my own head, but it turned into one of the best days of my life. Our wedding was meant to be on 30 May 2020, but like so many others, we had to postpone because of lockdown. We rearranged for 2021, trying to stay positive and look ahead.

Then, on the 10th/11th of June 2020, everything changed.

Niamh had what seemed like a stomach bug and had gone to bed early. By the evening, I had to perform CPR but she sadly passed away. I later learned it was acute pancreatitis that led to multiple-organ failure. It was completely sudden, with no warning, which made it even harder to process or make sense of. It’s difficult to put into words what that night did to me. For a long time, every memory of Niamh was overshadowed by it. I guess that’s the effect of trauma, and I hated how it took over. I struggled to sleep, and when I did, I would often wake up reliving those moments. My mind would go straight back there without warning, like I was stuck in a loop I couldn’t switch off. There were times it felt like my brain was trying to protect me, but in doing so, it wouldn’t let me rest. It took a long time to even begin to process what had happened, and to start separating that night from everything else she was. But over time, I’ve been able to slowly find my way back to the memories that matter most - the laughter, the trips, the quiet moments, and the way she saw the world.

This year marks six years since we lost her. It hasn’t become easier, and I don’t ever expect it to, but it has changed. Grief, for me, is just another form of love - it doesn’t go away, it just becomes something you learn to carry. The London Marathon takes place on 26 April, just two days after Niamh’s birthday. That time of year has always been difficult as we would usually be celebrating, planning something fun, maybe even another trip away. So running the marathon feels like a way to channel that emotion into something meaningful. When I got a ballot place, choosing to support Animal Free Research UK felt like the obvious decision. It’s something that mattered deeply to Niamh, and something we both believed strongly in. I had previously run the Worthing Half Marathon in support of their work, so I wanted to go one step further this time.

Animal testing is still widely used, despite the fact that the majority of drugs that pass animal testing fail in human trials. It’s not just cruel, but also ineffective. There are better, more advanced alternatives now, and supporting animal-free research means backing solutions that are both ethical and more likely to succeed.

Niamh believed in making a difference, not just in big ways, but in small, everyday actions. Whether it was moving a snail out of harm’s way, turning into a service station off the motorway to save a spider she saw clinging desperately to her wing mirror, speaking up when something wasn’t right, or encouraging small changes, she showed how much impact one person can have. That’s something I try to carry forward, to be a bit more like her. The world feels quieter and darker without her. There are moments, especially when meeting new people, where it hits me that they’ll never get to know her. But I’m grateful that I can share her story, and that in doing so, a part of her continues on.

Running the London Marathon is about more than the distance. It’s about her.

If you’re able to support, even in a small way, it would mean a huge amount. Any donation will go towards funding animal-free research and continuing the kind of change Niamh believed in so strongly. And if nothing else, I hope reading this encourages you to channel your inner Niamh by being kinder, speaking up, and finding joy and silliness in the moments that don’t always go to plan.

I am lucky to have had five years with my soulmate and that’s something I’ll carry with me forever. 💜

Here is information from the charity:

We are driving ethical, evidence based research to fight, prevent and cure human diseases. And we’re doing it by investing in the most innovative research which focuses on humans without the use of animals.

We are creating a future where animals are no longer used in medical research, where scientists focus on new techniques which are human relevant, giving better outcomes for everyone, people and animals alike. With your amazing support, we can advance human health and end the use of animals in medical research, forever.