Well, this is a long story. Around 2022, I felt like I needed to see a psychologist as my DJ career disappeared in-front of my eyes along with all of my friends, I had no one else. I was cut off from everyone, I'd stopped talking to my own family, I had intense dental pain and numerous infections leading to needing extensive surgery to remove about six teeth.

The previous year I had to go on anti-depressants as I was told I didn't sell enough tickets to be a part of the record label anymore, and I felt so low l did not understand how I would be able to survive in the world and my life was falling apart. I was due to do a tour in Australia but before that I had a gig in Jersey. I was drinking to calm my anxiety but it was my first time since antidepressants and I didn't realise the interaction. At the gig I was given numerous shots of tequila during my set and then when I finished they gave me my actual rider - a bottle of tequila. I can't remember much but apparently I was at the after party I was supposed to be DJing at and I refused to play and was kicked out of the venue. I was on an island on my own, and when I woke I was on a couch and someone walked in and asked what I was doing there. I wasn't checked in to my hotel, and so I must have entered a strangers house and slept on their couch. I woke up, had to apologise and find my way back to the hotel. This episode lost me £1000, and a grand don't come for free.

Due to this experience I was on my best behaviour on the other side of the world in Australia but I had convinced myself that to re-invigorate my DJ career I had to concoct a live show that I would perform at Creamfields. When I returned back from tour I was so manic that my girlfriend at the time had to go away to her friends so I could concentrate on the performance. I stayed up for days preparing the live show when I got back jet lagged. My laptop crashed and I lost three days of work. It was impossible, I took all of the equipment to do the live show to Creamfields but bottled it and just DJ’d instead. This performance is on YouTube.

After this I moved to an artists residence on the quayside, and all of my friends from the record label stopped talking to me. I had a wisdom tooth infection and can remember seeing a friends instagram story of them walking past my apartment, knowing I was in crippling pain. I had no money, no work, no inspiration, my mental and physical health was at an all time low. I was completely and utterly fucked.

I asked someone for advice on a publishing contract for ten grand and he offered to cover my living expenses for a year instead, but then didn't see it through and so I burnt through all of the money on a studio on top of my rent and found myself completely trapped.

Following this, I am booked to play at St James' Park, which was my first performance in a while - another life saver - and I was extremely anxious about it; it created a situation that lead to me cutting off my entire family.

I had absolutely nobody and I had absolutely nothing.

The Australians reached out to me to tour me again which absolutely saved my life financially. I had to go. I had to do it. But I was not well.

I did not know how I could travel to the other side of the planet by myself in such a bad condition and this lead to me requesting a grant from the Jonathon Russell foundation for a course of psychotherapy.

Kate at the foundation selflessly paid for me to be able to see a Jungian Analyst. I chose this specific therapist due to his PHD in musicology. I think I just wanted someone to talk to who could figure me out, and figure me out he did. I dragged myself to the sessions and the effect it has had on my life is indescribable. I was able to successfully complete the tour of Australia, China, Indonesia and Thailand without a hitch. And then when I returned we finished the sessions and he helped me reconfigure my life even more.

When I was lost and found myself with nobody else I was saved time and time again by the help of distant friends and charitable strangers. My faith in the world was restored, and even though times are still hard; the mental strength, gratitude and beauty that I was shown from the foundation keeps me going every single day. I have since been on a mission to fix things and restore relationships. I wish to run the great north run to inspire anybody else who needs a friend or a helping hand from a kind hearted stranger and the goodwill of this wonderful institution.

There are no bad actors in this cosmic play. Everything has happened due to to the harsh nature of the world and our current hard times, and I genuinely believe that goodwill and good nature can fix things. Fail we may, sail we must.