Choose your option according to what you have said (or might say) from the menu below:

1. "What fresh hell is this ?" £5

2. "What an awesome 'tache - really suits you". £10 (for lying badly).

3. "You doing Movember then ?" £15

4. "You look ridiculous. I'm not remotely surprised you're sleeping on the sofa. I'm giving you £20 just to make you keep it an extra week".

5. "Can I stroke it ?" POA.

I'll post an actual picture of Bristol's most hirsute male when you hit the target. Signed pictures available

(ps anyone contracting outside IR35 can start at their hourly rate)

Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page. It is a great wee local charity. I used to run the half marathon for them and they were awesome. Growing a moustache has proved a lazier option. Even though marital duties have been removed as a result.

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity.