Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page

About 18 months ago, My partner and I were in Spain and she had been throwing up for half of the week, thinking it was food poisoning. When we got home she took a test and found out we were pregnant.

All was going great, until week 12 when we found out baby had something called Exomphalus. After a chat the following week with the doctor they sent us to Birmingham women’s department. With a trip once maybe twice a week up there, it was discovered that our little girl had other issues like Spina-bifida a club foot and many other issues with kidneys etc. We were also told she probably wouldn’t last until birth.

After a well thought out decision between us we decided to do what was right for us.

Sofia Rose was born a stillborn on the 29th October 2023 at 17:46 weighing exactly 1lb at 23.5 weeks. She was a beautiful little girl. I only have pictures of her feet and hands though.

My partner Laura had nearly 3 months off work, whereas I being self-employed threw myself back into work after only a few days off. Checking in every few hours on Laura and making sure she was ok. Some days she wasn’t some days she was, it was hit and miss. She also had the support of family from both sides and also the Bereavement midwife, who I must add ‘was amazing’ Thank you Beth.

I too really struggled every day. But I just kept getting up every morning and kept it all hidden behind my smile. I wanted to be Laura‘s rock, I could see how much she was struggling every day, my job and focus at that present time was to make sure she was good.

My apprentice Josh was incredible, considering the lad was only 18, he helped me out every day with laughter and banter. Sometimes there were tears in the van and Josh would just sit talking to me about random stuff. My dogs were also a big contribution to my own sanity. Unfortunately I lost Pippa this year and that broke me too. The other one Penny is still here and always making me chuckle.

Until Christmas when I had a week off. Seeing everyone happy with their kids on social sites and in the street. It made the realisation come true, so I turned to having a drink, for pretty much most of that week.

Any how I guess what I’m trying to say is that on the 1st January 2024 I gave up Alcohol, I did this because of a few reasons, with the main one being this statement.

I had planned to give up for a year and that once I had completed it I would have donated to charity. Well guess what guys, I’m 10 months 14 days 22 hours 30 minutes and 17 seconds as I write this.

So I would like to support a charity who supports blokes who lose their children. We feel it just as much as the women do but most of us never show it which is wrong of us.

Over the past year I have spoken to many of people and I have heard so many people experiencing what I experienced last October. Most of them did exactly what I did and turned to work and drink. Well this shouldn’t be the answer.

Hopefully if you wouldn’t mind making a small donation to my page, I can donate this money to a charity called ‘Daddy’s with angels’ who can build on this structure to help all of those dads talk about their feelings.

If you don’t know, then my story has a very lovely outcome. Laura and I fell pregnant just after Christmas 2023 and Laura gave birth to a beautiful baby girl called Mila Rose on the 2nd October 2024. Mila and Laura are doing great and she was also in time to celebrate what would have been Sofia’s first birthday on the 29th.

Thank you everyone