Six years ago, my dad, Gary, started growing his hair out to participate in a fundraiser for cancer research called Bid Your Face Off, where a person could auction off the rights to their facial hair. We had a huge bidding war between a man's wife and his mother (mom wanted the beard gone, wife didn't want to have to see his chin), an incredible fu manchu, and I got to play tic-tac-toe on the side of a local business owner's head!

The COVID-19 pandemic cancelled the subsequent events, and Gary has continued growing out both his hair and beard, waiting for the event to come around again.

Instead of the return of Bid Your Face Off, a different cause that hits closer to home has become a priority. Two of Gary's four brothers have been diagnosed with Parkinson disease. He asked if I thought the hair and beard might generate some donations for research into this disease instead-- and I said we should find out!

What's on the block: Gary has over 24 inches of healthy hair and at least 8 inches (it's curly, so who knows!) of beard. For the right price, we might get him down to the skin, switch to a bowl cut, establish some righteous muttonchops, or anything else the mind can imagine!

Our goal is $500. For every donation, vote in the comments what you want to see happen. The idea with the highest amount raised gets the chop (so check what the other suggestions are before you vote!). For $500, you can skip the whole shenanigans and decree what will happen, and we will abide by it! And for $750 we'll even let you do the work yourself, provided you either get yourself to Durham, NC or pay for his round trip airfare to visit you.

We have about a week before it's go time. If you donate any amount, we'll send you a link to a live stream (or video recording) of the actual hair removal event. Thank you for reading all these words and hugs for your donation.