Today marks the last day of Birth Trauma Awareness Week, and it felt like the right time to share my London Marathon page and shed some light on why I have chosen to run for Mind.

On the 13th March 2025, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Alba. This day that I had been dreaming of my whole life, which was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, turned out to be one of the scariest. After having a beautiful, healthy pregnancy I went into labour with a positive mindset and thought everything would be okay, but unfortunately I endured a traumatic birth.

Upon arrival, I was told I was 3cm dilated in which I was shocked as I was in agonising pain. After several hours I was told the reason I was in so much pain was because Alba was presenting back to back, which for those who don’t know what that means - Alba’s back was against my spine, so with every contraction the pain not only was in my stomach but it spread all down my spine and into my bum. The midwife explained that my labour and delivery would be longer and more painful. The pain was horrendous. Hours later I decided to get the epidural as I couldn’t take the pain any longer.

At this point my waters still hadn’t broken, so they decided to break them. This procedure was successful but I was told there was meconium in my waters and could harm our baby. Also, I was told I had an infection and at one point they suspected I had sepsis but fortunately I didn’t.

Then the time came to push. I was put on an oxytocin drip to help ‘ramp up’ my contractions and after an hour or so pushing, there was no sign of baby. Alba’s heart rate dangerously dropped and a team of medical professionals came rushing in to help deliver. An episiotomy was performed and she was delivered using a ventouse. Alba was placed onto my chest for literally a matter of seconds before being taken away to be put on oxygen and admitted to NICU. I then looked at the consultant and said “is everything okay?” and she didn’t answer, but I still remember the way she looked at me - terrified.

By this point Joe had been escorted out of the room as he saw so much blood. I was then rushed to theatre where medical staff turned Joe to the wall and he was told “don’t look”. It wasn’t until recently he told me that he thought there was a chance he would be leaving the hospital without me. In the delivery room I lost 1.9 litres of blood and a further 0.6 litres in theatre, which is classed as a major postpartum hemorrhage. In order to control the bleeding they performed life-saving procedures which included bimanual compressions, inserted a tamponade balloon and vaginal pack and a blood transfusion. I was awake through it all, desperately trying to keep my eyes open as I was scared if I shut them I wouldn’t wake up. I was living a nightmare. I was finally reunited with Alba 5 hours later - my baby was finally in my arms.

The first few weeks were hard, really hard. Not only did I have to care for a newborn but I had PTSD - having flashbacks of the trauma, often leading to tears and being so sad with the birth I had. At 6 weeks postpartum I decided it was the right time to put on my running trainers and go for a run. Not only did it feel good to ‘get out in the fresh air’, but to also be alone with my thoughts. I firmly believe exercise is incredible for your mental health. Now I will be taking on the 26.2 miles of London to make my daughter proud. I also want to do this for other mums who are facing mental health struggles daily, especially those that don’t have the family/friend support system around them.

Here are some stats to show how many women are affected by traumatic childbirth:

1 in 10 women develop postnatal depression.

1 in 3 women report finding aspects of their birth traumatic.

5% of women develop PTSD post birth.

72% of women who experienced birth trauma, reported that the trauma took more than a year to resolve, or is still ongoing.