This year is all about challenging myself, looking forward, giving back and saying yes!!  

I’m starting by committing to raising funds for an amazing charity and hopefully giving someone else the opportunity to experience what I have.

The challenge itself is a 5 day Wild Camping and Canoe trip in Sweden. We will be completely self-sufficient on the trip Paddling 90km up the Harkan River.

I have never canoed and swimming really isn’t my strong point so it’s a positive start (!).. but the point of this is to take me outside of my comfort zone and to challenge myself.

I’m not going to stop there though, I’ll also be doing the Heaton Park Tough Mudder with my amazing husband and friends (Dan & Miguel), no idea how that’s going to go, but we’ll soon find out!

I may throw a few other things in during the year to raise money too so watch this space…..

So who am I doing this for? The Charity is called Odyessy and they focus on the quality of life for people who are living with or who have gone through cancer treatment. 

They have been running over 30 years and through all this time they have managed to keep what happens on the retreat secret because everyone who has had the privilege to attend understands the power of what they offer.  I feel passionately about the benefits of this experience and wish everyone could have the same opportunity.

They offer a 5 day retreat aimed at combating the physiological and emotional trauma caused by cancer.  You are given a packing list and told to meet at a train station and that’s it !  You are taking a leap of faith, with secrecy and uncertainty continuing through the 5 days.

The trip helped all of us enormously, you could physically see the changes in people as the time progressed and I met some amazing people that I now call my friends. You can’t underestimate the power of being surrounded by others on the same journey and without having to explain, you know what they have been through. When you find yourself in a situation and you don’t know who your are, what you want out of life and you can’t seem to get out of your funk … this course gives you the confidence to take the next step and help you recognise what a warrior you are and that life is worth fighting for !

Each place is free but costs the charity £1500 per person. The aim of this page is to give another the same experience as I have had.

My story…..

After years of fertility issues, covid, hitting early menopause and losing my dearest farther in law, Nick (my husband) and I were well and truly pissed off with life and 2022 was our fresh start, the time to concentrate on us, figure out what our lives were going to be like now we couldn’t grow our family like we wanted. We had holidays and adventures planned I was sooo excited for our next chapter….. but the universe had other plans. 

I found a lump in my right breast, not unusual for me but went to get it checked. On the 22nd April 2022 we had booked the day off to celebrate Nicks birthday, have a nice lunch and go for a walk. I went to get my results and wasn’t worried at all so Nick waited in the car. You know it’s not positive news when the nurse comes into the room with the consultant….. I honestly didn’t hear him at first, then it hit, he actually just said I had cancer, f*ck! 

So I responded with a few tears and “ok so now what?”

I hate uncertainty, if you give me a plan and steps I have to focus on I’m much better.  From that moment on my feet didn’t touch the ground, you feel like you’re floating. We didn’t tell anyone for over 2 weeks. I needed to understand my treatment plan and know the way forward before I worried anyone else, which was lucky really because the treatment plan kept changing. It went from a little lumpectomy and some ongoing meds for 10 years to 12 rounds of Chemo, mastectomy, radiotherapy, preventive chemo and ongoing meds. 

All in all treatment lasted 18 months. Many of you have followed along with my journey on Instagram as I decided very early on I’m not hiding, the world is getting my full story, worts and all.  If I can help one person through this then I’ll be happy…….fast forward to sept 2023.

My treatment was finished and everything from now on had to be positive and put a smile on my face I was going to live my life every day no matter what. This was the first time I had stopped, no more treatments, no more hospitals and to everyone around me this was an amazing time and yes it was, but I was sad and struggling… I finally stopped and was able to look back… “omg what just happened…”

I tried to paint a smile on my face and get back to “normal” but it was hard.  I was still suffering with the effects of being poisoned every 3 weeks for 18 months, my body was knackered and my mind was knackered and constantly worrying that the cancer was going to come back. To top it off I didn’t know what I wanted out of life any more, I didn’t know who I was and what was next!.  I was putting so much pressure on myself, pushing myself so hard. I needed a plan but couldn’t work it out, I felt like I wanted to run away and just be on my own because I couldn’t explain the feelings to anyone. All I wanted to do was walk to the highest mountain and scream …. But then the amazing nurse who had kept telling me about Odyssey did it one last time and I thought why the hell not I need help !!!.. 

The trip helped me take the next step I needed and it gave me a welcomed kick up the arse. Am I fixed, hell no, but I don’t think I will ever be fixed, I am different and life is different now but actually that’s ok, who knows what the future holds but I’m going to do everything I can to live my best life sticking to my mantra one step at a time… 

Helen Gilbert aka littleh