In April, I will run the London Marathon to raise funds for ARC, a charity that’s provided invaluable help to Rachael and I, surrounding the loss of our son Marcus Geoffrey Chapman-Whyte in 2023.

We were so excited when Rachael fell pregnant in December 2022, the pregnancy went smoothly and all our scans were completely fine and we found out we were having a little boy.

Everything went wrong for us at a private 4D ‘baby bonding’ scan at nearly 31 weeks. This was followed by a whirlwind of appointments, scans and tests and a rollercoaster of hope and despair – we spent hours googling and trying to find positive stories. Eventually we were given MRI results which identified numerous structural problems with Marcus’s brain – so many parts hadn’t formed properly, were missing completely or severely damaged with some issues presenting that even the fetal medicine doctors hadn’t ever seen before.

This was when Rachael first called the ARC helpline, not really knowing what she hoped for from calling, but being met with such kindness and understanding.

Soon after, we spoke to a paediatric neurologist who described to us the life Marcus would have – there was a very high chance he wouldn’t walk or talk, he probably wouldn’t ever recognise us, his cognitive functioning would be similar to that of a baby or toddler for however long he lived, he wouldn’t feed or swallow, he'd suffer various pains and he’d have seizures which may not be treatable... The consultant gently pointed out that they couldn’t predict Marcus’s likely life expectancy. It was clear to us that we couldn’t subject our much-loved little boy to this life, largely spent in a hospital for however long or short his time may be. We made the heart-breaking ‘decision’ to end his life before his pain could begin. We couldn’t give him a life without significant pain and suffering every single day, that wasn’t in our power, but we could give him peace, and that is what we chose – although it never really felt like a ‘choice’.

The next few weeks passed in a horrendous blur. Saying goodbye, Rachael being induced, and his birth on 4th August. Holding his body in the hospital, leaving with a memory box in hand rather than a car seat, his funeral.

We were left in a dark place, with an empty house and enduring pain, wondering why us, why our baby?

We subsequently learnt that Marcus had a mutation of a key gene in his brain which had stopped it from forming properly and were given a 1 in 100 chance of reoccurrence.

Rachael became pregnant again quickly, the pregnancy after loss was indescribably difficult, countless scans of baby’s brain, agonizing waits for genetic test results, constant fear of another loss.

We were so thankful for the healthy birth of Marcus's sister, Beatrice Aurora, on 4th July 2024, she brings us so much joy.

I don’t think we’d be where we are today without ARC, Rach spent hours speaking to the helpline, and the forum and meet-ups have made us feel less alone and helped us navigate this new life we’ve found ourselves in.

I know that we have taken on a lifetime of pain so that our little boy never had to experience any pain and knew only our love and protection. We will never forget our first child and will continue to talk about Marcus. If sharing our story and supporting ARC can make even one person feel less alone, then that will be a fitting legacy for him.

We are extremely grateful for every donation, and know that every penny makes a difference to the vital work ARC does for parents in the toughest circumstances across the UK.