Here goes...

Hello first of all. My name is Jake Bland. Unfortunately yes that is my surname.

I am walking a not-so-Bland journey from here in little Burton-in-Lonsdale, across to the coast and then to Lands End via the west coast including Wales. To the end of the land for mental health…

It’s the best part of 1300 miles and will take me months and months. It’s further than Lands End to John o Groats which is pretty daunting.

Why am I doing a crazy walk?

Some people that know me are already very well aware… and some won’t know a thing. Others who know me will have probably read between the lines a little bit… it's not exactly been a well kept secret. In a nut shell, I’ve not been so good. Far from it.

I know a lot of people talk about mental health nowadays and the taboo has been lifted somewhat… But I have been really really bad for some time, and have lost the plot of late you might say. It is rock bottom stuff.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life with various councillors and therapists and whatnot and sort of come to the conclusion that I haven’t approached it correctly. That it’s always been the wrong time. I need to do something drastic… something that gets me away from some pretty devastating circumstances in my immediate life and a chance to heal before I make any other move in life.

I have decided that I’m going to talk a lot about it all, every bit of it, over the next few months here along with doing this walk for charity. I’ll have lots of time to think about it in a healthy way and then hopefully talk about it clearly.

Talking has never been my problem. Whether to large groups of people or to individuals. I’ve generally been good at doing that. But I have always done it at the wrong time, when things are rock bottom, or close to, and people seem to either not know what to say or do and then back off, or I push them away completely.

Recently I started making music again for the first time in 15yrs. That was helping to a point, but It’s flipped on its head a bit since I started battling with lyrics. It was cleansing in ways and an outlet but I’m not ready to tackle a lot of that yet. Putting pen to paper with lyrics was fine, but trying to record the singing has put me right back into a hole.

This walk is kind of make or break stuff for me and It has to work. I don’t know what “it working” looks like, but I am at the last chance saloon. If this plan doesn't achieve something then I’m at a bit of a loss.

I will break down a lot of the subjects as to why I'm where I am individually over the next few months as I have chance to really think about them and deep dive into them. Hopefully it can help others in some way if they choose to watch… and from a more selfish point of view, hopefully, completely liberate me from whatever it is that has this hold over me. Or at least some of it.

Here’s a short summary for the time being… There are some obvious reasons for my problems, and some others that are less so that I am learning about. Either way… not giving a care about anything and having zero self worth, along with some poor choices, has meant that in the last 6 months I’ve lost my partner, step daughter, home, driving license, job, seemingly half my friends and half my family too. It's gotten me into trouble with the law which is a million miles away from who I am as a person. I won’t shy away from any of my mistakes that have led to this, but there are some other very complicated factors in there that have completely upended things on multiple levels. The ripples have spread fairly wide.

I have spent my whole life escaping my head through various ways and never really addressed anything properly. This year has been a real watershed moment to be honest.

Not afraid to say it, per se, but it is still a difficult thing to say… various long lasting issues and battles have led to a constant struggle to find reasons to stay alive. This isn't a recent thing. It's been a decade with struggles on this front. But the noise is louder than ever. There have been times where that has spilled over into very serious self harm. In recent months I have spent time in hospital over it, and too much time in a police cell.

Neither of those things are happening here and now, but i’m faced with a difficult situation. I’m stuck in a tiny rural village way out in the sticks with no job, no public or personal transport, almost no contact with the outside world other than the dreaded social media… and yeah… basically festering… a brick wall the size of the north face.

There’s nothing wrong with this village. The people are amazing, the place is beautiful, it’s everything that most people could ever want… but it’s not what I need right now.

I will have to take a couple of short breaks during the walk. One for a stag do which is conveniently on the journey and I’ll try and time it with that. Then for the same amazing chap’s wedding later in summer. Couple of court dates that could be an issue too… Who knows what’ll happen with those but I won’t be going to prison put it that way... they are serious charges but not that kind of level. Other than that I intend to complete it uninterrupted.

Lastly I need to talk about funding it.

I am at the bottom of a mountain. I have no money, and little to no way of earning any before I go and fairly unlikely to earn anything on the way. So I’m going to have to beg, borrow, and make a few sacrifices first.

It might not sound like much to some, but I am going to sell what is pretty much the only pride and joy in my life - my Gibson 335 Vintage Sunburst guitar. So if you know anyone that wants one - let me know. I can get another one someday. But if I spend all my time failing in the fight with my own mental battles with that sitting there then it’s not worth me having it anyway. This is more important. I haven’t really got any other personal belongings to sell as I’m not really a collector of anything and live a fairly minimalist life.

In terms of kit? I have lots of camping kit - but none is lightweight. If anyone has anything they want to donate to this? Then please do as I need all the help I can get with tent, sleeping bag, torch, battery pack, stove, etc etc etc - all light weight. I could use a Go-Pro. A waterproof carry bag for a guitar. Large backpack. Everything…..

I also have plans to sell T-Shirts and other bits to raise money. More on that and a couple of fundraisers soon.

That’s all I’m going to say for now. There will be regular updates and plans announced soon.

Big thanks if you got this far through and if you can support in any way then I also can’t thank you enough for that.

Jake