This Saturday 7th October will mark what should’ve been my best friend, Ruby’s, 22nd birthday. She should be doing all the things we’re doing in these photos: cry-laughing, eating pizza, going out, taking chaotic selfies, dancing, striking poses (especially if her iconic cat-eye sunglasses are involved). The last time Ruby got to have a proper birthday party, with all of these things, was for her 17th birthday, back in 2018— when she wore the fabulous gingham dress you can see in the photo gallery above. There was cake, and ‘Dancing Queen’, and a lot of laughter (and an immaculately prepared jug of Pimms with all sorts of fruit in it).

On our last day of Year 12, aged just 17, Ruby got the devastating news that she had lymphoma, a kind of blood cancer. She went through a myriad of brutal treatments, a lot of very scary moments, and eventually a stem cell transplant to try to save her life. Amidst all this, Ruby spent her 18th birthday in hospital. Thanks to some incredible nurses and some crazy board games, she still got to have a party, but she was gutted to be missing out on all the 18th birthday rites-of-passage: going out, buying her first drink with her ID, dancing with her friends.

In April of 2020, Ruby was told that, despite having a stem cell transplant, the cancer was too strong and had come back as a very aggressive form of T-cell leukaemia. She died at home, with her parents and her sister, less than a month later. Before she died, Ruby said that she wanted to be remembered by the phrase ‘Live Kindly, Live Loudly’, and by the raising of funds to save the lives of other young people like her.

Always classy, 17-year-old Ruby’s drink of choice had always been a vodka cocktail, ideally with orange juice (blood orange juice if we were feeling fancy). For her 18th, Ruby was gifted a rainbow flask, and a mini bottle of Smirnoff, to save for when she got better. When she didn’t get better, I took custody of the flask and the Smirnoff. Both sat displayed on a shelf in my room for months after she died.

When my 19th birthday came around— the first I’d had since Ruby had died— all I wanted was to be celebrating with my best friend, the person I was closest to in the whole world— and in a way I did. I started a birthday fundraiser for the Live Kindly Live Loudly fund in her memory. I also decided it was time to take the Smirnoff off the shelf. After ceremonially transferring the vodka from its mini bottle into the rainbow flask, I poured myself a vodka-OJ mixer and made a toast to my closest friend, Ruby.

This year, for what would’ve been her 22nd birthday, I would love for as many people as possible to join me in ‘buying Ruby a drink’ for her birthday, by donating the equivalent amount to her Live Kindly Live Loudly research fund, part of Children’s Cancer and Leukaemia Group. For my part, I’m going to start by donating the equivalent of two cocktails (London prices 😉), but whether it’s a pint, a Pimms, or a miniature bottle of Smirnoff, I encourage you to join me, and to raise a glass to an incredible, kindhearted, always goofy and always classy young woman who should be here to celebrate her birthday with us.