ln April, i’ll be running the Colchester 10k for the mental health charity mind.

mental health is a subject very close to my heart, i’ve seen first hand the impact in can have on people, felt how lonely it can feel, i’ve experienced the harsh reality of trauma, and most of all learnt a lot from my struggles.

Over the years i’ve had my fair share of mental health issues, i missed a lot of school due to how much i struggled, i pushed many people away for the simple fact that i couldn’t bear them to see me hurting.

through high school i went through some of the most traumatic experiences i have ever been through, i wouldn’t wish for anyone to go through what i went through, let alone at such a young age.

i felt so alone even when i was surrounded by people, i isolated myself from everyone, i shut out how i felt, i didn’t leave my bedroom for days, the thought of leaving the house made me feel sick with anxiety. i could barley survive. i refused to believe i was depressed. i knew deep down that i was but i didn’t want the label of it because i felt ashamed of it. i tried to change everything in my life to try and fight away this feeling, i changed my friends, my appearance, everything in hopes of feeling better, but it didn’t come. i only felt worse. i felt like nothing i did was ever good enough and even at some points thought people were better off without me, i felt like i couldn’t live with everything that happened. my mental health affected my physical health too, i always felt tired, always had headaches, my whole body ached. i turned to unhealthy habits to try and cope with how low and lost i felt, i felt like i had no purpose. i came to my breaking point and i couldn’t handle it by myself anymore so i finally reached out. i had a few therapists and councillors, but i didn’t accept the help and i was then diagnosed with depression and anxiety. i wasn’t shocked but i refused to believe it. i was the happy bubbly friend, the “mother” of the group, i thought “i can’t be depressed?”

i received more therapy, CBT, crisis team visits, i even started anti depressants.

as i started to put the work into therapy i started to see a gradual difference.

after some time i accepted it.

i accepted the help,

i accepted the medication,

i accepted the diagnosis,

i accepted that i wasn’t going to be the same person i was before my depression.

i was so lost and hopeless at such a young age. now i can see the hope. i learnt to live with it.

ultimately i was the one to decide to recover, but i couldn’t do it without the help of mental health services, like mind.

i still have my rough patches but i finally realised that these patches are temporary and won’t last forever and that there is light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes you just might need a little extra help to find it.

mind helps to support and empower people experiencing mental health problems, which is something i’m so passionate about.

it’s never weak to speak out if you need help and it’s never too late.

mental health can be so serious and is a silent killer.

if i can help one person through this fundraiser i will be over the moon, anything you donate is greatly appreciated,

thank you for reading, kacie x