In 2019, I experienced severe emotional, mental, physical and sexual abuse by my ex-partner. I was harassed, stalked, manipulated, attacked, and much more, to the point that I didn’t want to be here anymore. 5 years later, today, I am still receiving therapy and support to deal with the aftermath of the trauma I was put through and how to re-build myself. It’s massively changed me as a person.

I became extremely closed off, anxious, suffered from multiple mental breakdowns and couldn’t leave my house at times because I was so terrified that something would happen. I had alarms and cameras put all over my house, became paranoid and had someone with me most of the time so I felt somewhat safe.

It’s so easy for people to say, ‘why didn’t you leave?’ Or ‘why did you stay if it was that bad?’. I was being broken and tore down daily, I was told that I would never be good enough for anyone else and he broke my spirit down to the point I gave up on myself and my future. I spent nights crying myself to sleep wondering if I was ever going to get out of this and I became so numb. It got to a point where I believed that I deserved what was happening to me, because that’s all I was ever told. I did try to leave, on multiple occasions, but every time was manipulated to believe that I was the problem, and that I needed him to survive, that I was nothing without him and life wouldn’t be worth living if he wasn’t in it. I finally left the relationship, for good, at the end of the year, where I relocated and started to rebuild my life.

Not many people know my story, and after years of work, going through the motions and the trauma of why I am the way that I am, why certain things trigger me, how I went through years of being desperate to find love because I was made to feel so worthless for what felt like the longest time, to now finding myself again. My LOVE for nature, hiking, spending time with my family/friends and my dogs, finally living my life the way I should have been for the past 5 years and for the first time in my life being able to say I feel happy where I am and how far I’ve come. My parents often say ‘we’ve got Kaitlin back’ and that saying alone means the world to me.

One woman in four will experience domestic abuse at some point in her lifetime and on average two women are killed each week in England and Wales by a current or former partner.

Refuge is the single largest provider of specialist services to survivors of domestic, sexual and gender-based abuse and runs the freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline that provides the first step to women escaping abuse.

By kindly sponsoring me today you are helping to save and change the lives of thousands of women and their children.

Thank you 💖