I turned 30 on August 25th and I've been told that I should feel something existential about that but I don't.

This year, the number that has been circling my head has been 10. This year marks 10 years since I first walked into Rape Crisis and asked for help. Stepping through those doors felt insurmountable. So did going back again and again.

For my annual charity skinny dip, I think it is only right to fundraise for the group that inspired 10 years of healing. It hasn't been easy. There have been setbacks, challenges and taking care of your mental health when intrusive thoughts doubt you every step of the way is like swimming against a torrent of your own making.

Which is why I am going to take a moment to remind myself of 30 things I've achieved/ survived in the past 10 years:

1. I started therapy

2. I quit therapy (more than once)

3. I kept going back

4. I lost friends

5. I made some new ones

6. I finished my undergraduate degree

7. I wrote 2 books

8. I got into reading for pleasure

9. I embraced my sexuality

10. Learnt about my gender identity

11. I helped create a mindfulness manual for survivors

12. I walked through fire

13. Walked through glass (twice)

14. I had my voice heard in parliament to highlight the importance of Rape Crisis funding

15. I found myself on Universal Credit (also twice)

16. I fell in love

17. Had my heart broken

18. Put it back together again

19. Found out my trauma makes me disassociate

20. Took up pole to become more connected to my mind and body

21. I passed my driver’s test

22. Took medication that made me feel terrible

23. Advocated for myself to be taken off them

24. I learnt that I am tougher than I think and stronger than I look

25. I am learning how to be vulnerable with others

26. Discovered that I am neurodivergent

27. I am learning to be more patient with myself

28. I found out that I am hypermobile and my persistent “growing pains” are overextended joints

29. I’ve found people in my life I can be weird with

30. I’ve grown so much and come so far

I have a lot of people to thank for getting me to where I am today and RCTN deserves some of that praise.

So long to my 20s, I'm on to bigger and better things.