In September 2022, not long after my beautiful son Cameron was born, I was admitted to a Mother and Baby Unit in Nottingham as I was deeply suffering from Postpartum Psychosis.

Postpartum Psychosis is a serious mental health illness that can affect someone soon after having a baby. It affects around 1 in 1,000 mothers after giving birth. I had no knowledge or understanding as to what Postpartum Psychosis was before I experienced it myself. Medical professionals have always explained to me that it is difficult to pinpoint as to what caused Postpartum Psychosis in myself because it is not caused by anything the mother did, but it is a complex, multifactorial condition likely to be linked to genetic factors and hormonal shifts.

In my experience, after the birth of Cameron, I did not sleep for over 10 days as I became obsessed over feeding and wanting to breastfeed (which I found incredibly difficult) as Cameron was born weighing 5lb 6oz. At my worst, I felt like I was moon-walking and when I laughed it felt like a clown's laugh. This was because I was hallucinating. I lost all sense of reality and I thought that there was a 'sneaky plan' going on around me. I gave my family members different roles and I over analysed every conversation and every action that was going on around me. I was fiercely protective over Cameron while completely crumbling mentally at the same time.

I still do not fully know and understand as to what exactly happened on the day when I was admitted to the Mother and Baby Unit in Nottingham in September 2022. I remember talking A LOT and narrating the whole day like I was hosting a game show, I remember at least four different mental health professionals being at my house asking me and my family lots of questions and I remember an ambulance arriving where I was singing 'Independent Women' by Destiny's Child to the female paramedics. In a recent therapy session that I had, I realised that there are times where things need to remain 'grey' to protect yourself.

Cameron and I lived in the Mother and Baby Unit in Nottingham for around 1 month. Pretty much every day in this time, between my husband, parents, brother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law and my friends, they drove the 75 mile journey to visit Cameron and I at the Mother and Baby Unit.

That is why, throughout May, I have decided to join in with the APP Challenge - Miles For Mums & Babies for Maternal Mental Health Awareness. I have decided to walk 75 miles throughout May to reflect the journey that was made to see and support us at the Mother and Baby Unit.

Thank you for taking the time to read part of my story.

Kathryn x

Action on Postpartum Psychosis is a UK charity. We’re here to make sure mums, parents and families are supported through postpartum psychosis – a severe, but treatable, form of mental illness that occurs after having a baby and affects over 1000 new mums in the UK each year.

We offer information and peer support, facilitate ground breaking research, raise awareness and campaign for improved services.

Our life changing peer support network helps women and families affected by postpartum psychosis feel understood, supported and less isolated.