Hello!

Thank you for visiting our page to read what led us to sign up for the challenge of cycling 55 miles from London across the hilly South Downs! Be ready with a brew of tea...there's a tale to tell!

8 years ago, Andy and I would never have anticipated we would be where we are today. The family we desperately hoped for hasn't, yet, arrived.

In 2017, we decided to start trying for a family. We knew it could take a while but several years of 'trying' went by - what a whole host of emotions and sacrifices that word 'trying' covers. We found a poem which sums it up brilliantly - If you have a moment, please see the link at the bottom of this page and give it a watch.

We went on to seek help from the medical profession who advised that I would firstly need surgery before being told that our best chances would then come through IVF.

After waiting and navigating our way through many difficulties, including family bereavement and the pandemic, my surgery went ahead successfully and our first round of IVF followed. We felt beyond lucky to have 3 strong blastocysts but, despite all the hope and optimism, that balanced so finely against the anxiety and what ifs, all 3 transfers sadly failed to implant.

Another round of treatment resulted in 3 more precious blastos. Surely, SURELY, one of these may just be 'the one'?

A new consultant brought a fresh perspective, more extensive tests, tweaks in treatment and different medications. We thought this time would be different....and it was. Our little embaby implanted - I was "officially" pregnant and had 3 test sticks to prove it!

Heartbreaking news followed at our first scan though - we were told the pregnancy had stopped progressing; I'd had a missed miscarriage. We were devastated. Even though we were well aware of the potential outcomes of a pregnancy, things felt different this time, felt 'right'. Knowing we'd dropped our guard and let ourselves dream a little further ahead initially made us feel foolish and angry. But, we soon realised that we wouldn't have done anything differently, especially as we now have those days in our memory and they have never, yet, happened again so are dearly cherished.

Our 5th attempt went ahead but without success and the year that followed was one of the worst in the whole process. We were running on empty trying to juggle work, life and everything infertility, IVF and miscarriage brought with it. We had put our trust in the medical profession but I felt the need to find out even more information. There must be more to know, more that could be done to help us...

I had seen TWGGEF on Instagram and loved what they stood for - the information they were offering women (and men) in desperate need of it, together with the way they presented it was refreshing. The day we found out our 5th attempt hadn't worked I approached them, looking for reassurance that it would all be ok, that there was more we could try...they offered just that by telling me there was one place left on their newly launched Trying To Conceive After Loss Course; it had my name on it!

It was EXACTLY what I needed at that moment. A safety net that caught me when I was flailing. The course introduced me to a group of wonderful ladies who all had different stories but who were connected by the same deep sadness, loss and apprehension.

It also put Andy & I in touch with a private consultant who looked at our circumstances as a whole picture (differently to how the hospital had done) and recommended tests for us both which had never been mentioned to us previously. We learnt over time that there was a whole host of information our clinic had never talked to us about which, although understandable in places, was still hugely disappointing and frustrating. More tests led to a significant discovery being made which meant our last little blastocyst had to go on a road trip to London as our clinic didn't offer the treatment required. It was the most precious cargo!

However, even with a whole different treatment plan, our last transfer wasn't to be and knowing it was our last attempt left us devastated once again

That leaves us here...in a space where we're still trying to find our way. Even though we are incredibly lucky to be surrounded by wonderful, supportive, caring family & friends, it can still feel one of the loneliest places to be and without the help, guidance, compassion and care available from TWGGEF, it would feel even more isolating.

There are huge, positive developments being made every day in the world of fertility and a vast array of valuable information coming to the fore. Sadly though, this isn't made available to every couple and many have experiences that are confusing, conflicting and devastatingly unfair.

The abundance of information, resources and care which Laura, Bex & their associates offer ensures couples gain more knowledge and are armed with confidence to face a healthcare system which is, in places, still playing catch up. The Worst Girl Gang Ever Foundation is a charity which deserves widespread support to continue to allow this information to be accessed, free of charge, to anyone who requires it.

This ride is our way to offer support to a cause that has helped us so much. It also provides a challenge and something for us to focus on - and gives Andy an excuse to get a new bike, though even a new bike isn't likely to see us get up the infamous Ditchling Beacon!!!!

Donating any amount you comfortably can will be hugely appreciated and will be used to help others, like us, find their way.

If you've got this far, thank you for reading and supporting us. ❤️

Please take a minute to watch this brilliant poem by Harry Baker which captures the whole picture of ‘trying’ so accurately: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAAVlTQZrEU