So my lovely cousin & best friend Jenny took her life.

I haven't been open water swimming since then. Raising £40 or £400, or anything would make a difference to others and 'celebrate' her 40th heaven Birthday.

I don't know if I can do it.... but I'm going to try and swim 750m open water on 9th Sept at Cotswold Lake in the Big Swim Race. I feel nervous even writing it and need to take a deep breath. I cannot guarantee your donation will mean the completion of it, but I can gaurantee i will give my all.

I ran 15km last week for her too, the longest I've run since a heart problem. So i hope this will go towards your kindness.

Our great great grandmother founded the Spafford Childrens Centre in Jerusalem, which helps orphans & children to have a chance at life.

It seemed right with Jenny above and all the great, great, and grandparents above to give something back.

I appreciate times are hard & its a tiny charity, not UK based, but if you feel drawn to support I can tell you first hand, it will make an incredible difference. If you ever want to visit let us know too, it's special.

I've written some more words below, and hope it helps,

All my support and care, you matter, Kim xx

If you would prefer to donate to a small UK Charity, I am doing a course with Sunflower Suicide Support & need to make £300 to support - just pop Kim Ingleby for Jenny in the comments

https://cafdonate.cafonline.org/12870#!/DonationDetails

Where there is no struggle, there is no strength' Winfrey

I thought a lot about these words.

I'm still not sure it's 'right',

Sharing stories can sometimes help someone,

Life is messy, beautiful & chaotic for us all.

Chapters in challenges & joys

I would love if you shared your thoughts in the comments….

Unexpected days changed many lives one September

My words are mine alone, the privacy & experience of others, theirs.

Trauma is a complex beast, wild, untamed

Adrenalin is a powerful energy, both helpful & wired

Spending 72hrs as the family member

with the police search & dive teams,

gave me a deep respect

for the complex work they do

Trauma can cause us to be hyper-vigilant, isolate, avoid conversations and connection, poor sleep, over/under exercise, work, eat & sleep, flashback triggers, nightmares, addictive coping behaviours and so much more.

In one sense it's a natural way of the body managing stress.... only sustainable for so long.

What helps trauma is often simple.

Simple is not always easy.

Simple things like breathing & pauses, music, walking, nature, connection, safe conversations, people & places, animals, simple foods, writing, space to feel, support.

- What helps you when you feel stressed or overwhelmed?

Acknowledging how we feel, without comparison or self-judgement is the first step

72hrs… 12.23pm, alone with the dive team, the search to find Jenny ended.

Despite her suicide & chaos, she was funny, clever, kind hearted & wild spirited until the end. The end to for her, was the start of a new life chapter for many

Trauma profoundly impacts,

Nudging into the darkest of places,

Yet reminds us who we are

The dark corners evolve with a new strength,

Hope, compassion, empathy

The risk to choose

A life with love over fear.

If you are in chaos, or know someone in chaos,

You matter, even when you don’t think so.

Chaos unfolds,

Someone is always in your corner,

Learn to trust.

The dance of life.

You are enough.

I’m going to attempt an open water swim in Jenny’s memory

on 9th Sept. Ridiculously scary, yet time to embrace fear & evolve,

the brave life…

"We have to go for what we think we are fully capable of,

not limit ourselves by what we've been in the past" – Vivek Paul

If I can support or you have a question

do ask,

Coach Kim x