17 November 2010 - South Africa. The Operating Theatre went quiet, doctors and nurses scrambled around me - panic on their faces. My newborn baby was quickly removed from my chest - and my husband taken aside, as I began moving my legs and cried out as I suddenly felt intense stabbing pains going through my stomach, my whole body writhing in agony. The spinal block had failed and I was undergoing major abdominal surgery feeling every gut wrenching tug, twist, pull and stab.

I was pleading for help through my tears. "Lie still, it will be over soon", said one of the nurses.

It was the most scared I've ever been in my life and the most pain I've ever experienced. I was trying not to react to the utmost pain I was feeling - it was all too much - I thought I was going to die. My husband, Frank, who was watching all this from the corner of the room, saw a group of doctors around me and another group around our premature son, who wasn't doing well either - crazy thoughts flashed through his mind that we were both going to die.

I'm allergic to most pain medications - but after 4 injections and 2 hours in recovery - I was finally ok. My son was taken to NICU to be cared for there - that's all I knew. My husband went home to shower and change.

During that time while I was alone and resting in my hospital room, a nurse wheeled in a crib and said "Here is your baby, he's fine now. Would you like to hold him and feed him?" It didn't occur to me that she was handing me someone else's baby. I looked at him, kissed him, and started breastfeeding him. All this time she was talking to me and reassuring me and then, a few minutes later just as she was leaving the room - she called me by a different name. I said, "That's not my name." We both realised what she had done. She took the baby out of my arms - apologised and said "Please don't tell anyone."

I went absolutely hysterical, I wanted to get out of bed - chase her down the passage and attack her, but I was too weak. I screamed that Hospital Ward down, and my finger pressed the call button over and over again. I grabbed my phone and called Frank. My whole body shaking and howling rather than crying - I couldn't get the words out to explain what had happened. Nurses came in and I was in a terrible state - they sedated me, and Frank arrived. I felt like he was the only one that could speak for me, that could protect me and our baby. I demanded to see MY son - the one that I was meant to be holding and feeding. They wheeled over in a wheelchair - and there he was, feeding tubes in and fluid on his lungs - 5 weeks premature but he was ok and got stronger everyday - for which I was so thankful and grateful.

My body went into complete shock from the physical pain and emotional trauma I had just experienced and I suffered with complications for 3 long years after Evan's birth. Having a newborn baby and a 3 year old child and being in pain daily was very challenging.

I had pelvic floor dysfunction. My exterior muscles were in a permanent spasm - which was painful, and it made going to the toilet extremely difficult. Inside - I had prolapse and a few missing pelvic floor muscles altogether. I felt absolutely helpless, scared to eat food and in pain most days. I remember googling "Colostomy bags" and wondering if this is how I'd end up.

After being tossed around to many doctors, physios and having Proctograms, MRI's, Biofeedback training, Botox injections (not in my face), Counselling and 3 Operations later, I can thankfully say that I'm completely healed and my pelvic floor is stronger than it's ever been.

The embarrassment of some of the tests and therapy I've had to go through are nothing compared to the joy of living pain free and being able to use the toilet!

Running has helped me heal in so many ways. I feel positive, focused and in control of my body when I run. I think, I dream and I pray about everything while running. I was never a sporty child, but as an adult I have realised - I don't need to be sporty to try something. I tried it and I loved it! I grew up with my dad being the "runner of the family". He was an amazing man and loved running. I married Frank and he was the "runner of the family" until I realised that there are so many reasons why I should run too! I started running regularly during lockdown and haven't looked back. Running has enriched my life and has made me a healthier and happier person.

If anyone is going through Pelvic floor dysfunction, prolapse or trauma from birth - I just want to encourage you to get all the medical help you can get, and when your body feels ready - start with just a walk and keep going, and I really hope and pray that you can overcome it too!

xxx Leanne

The Charity: We support parents - both mothers and partners - who are experiencing distress after a traumatic birth, whether that's full-blown postnatal PTSD (which affects about 30,000 women a year) or other forms of distress such as depression or anxiety. Birth trauma can be immensely difficult to live with, and parents often find there is no one they can talk to about the experience. Our Facebook group, a safe place where parents can support each other, has grown to more than 14,000 members. We also offer support by phone and over email.