I often get a bright idea that if i enter a sponsored walk, I'll lose masses of weight, reach peak physical condition and become utterly ravishing. However each time, i stay exactly the same but still have to do the bloody walk. When will I learn?!

This year I did 3 Kiltwalks for Age Scotland - the Glasgow 14 mile Big Stoll in April (not fit enough to do the long one), Aberdeen 18 miles in June and Edinburgh 21 miles in September. Had to skip Dundee due to singing in the Tattoo with Sing in the City (what a shame!).

Team Pirrieknees grew in momentum as Child 2 showed up in Aberdeen and Edinburgh and Child 1 joined in at Edinburgh

Reasons you should sponsor us -

- I'm old. I'm 54 and feel about 90

- I'm very very fat. I'm about 8 stone overweight. I'm basically a normal person carrying another normal person. For 21 miles. That's not easy. I suggest you normal people either pick each other up and walk for 7 hours. OR give me some cash as I've done the hard work for you (nice of me, right?)

- I'm not sporty. At all. My best standing in any event through 7 years of primary school was second last. Normally I was last. I actually took 2 extra O Grades (a third science and Latin) as this meant I could drop PE from S3. That's sacrifice and should be rewarded with sponsorship

- Child 1 is also not sporty. His idea of a long walk is to buy his Pringles from Tesco Holy Corner instead of Sainsbury's Morningside Road. Somehow he completed 21 miles and can now barely move. I predict the Pringles will have to be deliverood for the next 2 weeks while he recovers. This is worth additional sponsorship

- Child 2 is one of those annoying people who excels on minimal effort. He did zero training (apart from a 15 mile walk round Barra two weeks before) and then flew round Edinburgh finishing 1 hour 45 minutes ahead of me and his teammate. Handsome sponsorship is required to compensate me and Child 1 from having to live with a sickeningly high achiever.

Please browse our gallery for evidence of athletic prowess, joyful faces and training.

Age Scotland the Scottish charity for older people

They work to improve the lives of people over the age of 50 in Scotland. We provide a free helpline, support older people’s groups, promote age and dementia-friendly communities, deliver wellbeing programmes, and campaign on behalf of older people.

Their helpline provides impartial and confidential information to older people, their carers and families.

"This service gave me hope. They listen to you, and they don't judge you. The calls always make me feel less alone".

Helen, helpline caller