On 18th April 2024, a huge void opened in our lives with the passing of my beloved brother, Ste. The eldest to 3 sisters, Ste became man of the house at just 15, and I was only 4. I consider myself fortunate to have enjoyed the fun of a big brother, and the care, consideration and direction of a ‘guardian.’ Ste, who has been described by many as a true gentleman, enriched my life and was loved by all that knew him. Needless to say, our lives, won’t ever be the same.

Less than 12 months ago, Ste, a bit of a health guru: eating healthy food, sport loving, non-smoker, was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. He had a stent fitted to help him eat allowed foods and replacement meal shakes but in October he was continually vomiting blood. The hospital consultants were doubtful they could stop the bleeding but thankfully, eventually after many hours they did. And after a couple of blood transfusions and a few more days in hospital, Ste was able to go home again.

But we later found out that the cancer had spread to his liver and other organs.

In November, we have our annual big family celebration for mum's birthday, Ste wasn’t well enough to attend, even though it was at my sister's house, about a mile away from his home. The same happened at Christmas when we all get together every Boxing Day. Ste’s immediate family took it in turns to share time with us all at my niece’s house - and with Ste at home. John, the boys and I called to see Ste and his family that day. Despite being desperately unwell, I felt Ste made lots of effort with us all. This was the last time our 2 sons saw Ste. It was painful to watch weight drop off him and for him to be in such discomfort, so we thought it would be better for them to keep happy memories such as all the barbecues Uncle Ste loved hosting and talking about MCFC and sport!

In January, Ste and Sue were told that the chemotherapy wasn’t working.

By March things were becoming more difficult and a bed had been put in the front lounge so Ste didn’t have to try and manage the stairs. He was very thin and weak.

I saw Ste for the last time at the end of March. He was in his bed in the lounge. I think we both knew this would be my last visit and as I left Ste took my hand and this almighty strength pulled me to him. He kissed me and said goodbye. Sue and I shed tears in the hall as I left.

Ste died at home, surrounded by his wife and 3 children, who had been taking turns to sit with him 24/7. He had recently found that he was going to become a grandad for the first time.

Throughout these traumatic months, St Luke’s Hospice and The Macmillan Team were amazing. St Luke’s supported Ste and Sue in so many ways. Sue had someone to talk to and they both attended for weekly holistic sessions in an environment that cared for and understood them, treating them with dignity and respect. When Ste became too ill to leave the house staff from St Luke's visited Ste at home to continue their holistic therapies.

Ste was keen to learn to paint on his retirement and St Luke’s Hospice granted this wish. Who’d have known what a fabulous artist he was! (See the painting in the gallery attached). He painted this at his first art lesson - which was sadly also his last visit to St Luke’s Hospice. We were amazed by his talent and overwhelmed he had been given this opportunity, which is such a beautiful legacy for Sue.

With their unfaltering care in mind, I am keen to give back to the hospice, in memory of Ste. So, in October 2025, I will be trekking 50k in The Sahara with the team from St Luke's, in the hope of raising awareness of their work and much needed funds. One fact to drive on my fundraising is that it costs £5 million a year to run St Luke’s in Winsford, yet they only receive 15% from the government.

This won’t be easy for me! But then challenges aren’t supposed to be! After breaking my foot, ankle and knee, I have had to modify my activity accordingly. I like walking but sometimes find it difficult, especially walking on consecutive days. I’m also a lady of a certain age - so hate the heat - and I have a snake phobia! I will endure heat of 35 degrees - likely to be more, dropping to around zero at night when I will be sleeping in a tent! With no running water, I’ll be relying on wet wipes for cleansing, and holes in the ground for toileting! But - if someone else gets the opportunity to paint a picture, a chance to talk to someone when they need to or have a foot massage, it will be worth climbing every sand dune.

I also feel grateful for the opportunity to take on this challenge. Ste and Sue should have travelled in The Atlas Mountains, the year Ste was diagnosed. As I will travel through The Atlas Mountains, it seems a fitting tribute to complete this challenge in his memory.

Thank you for reading this. With your generosity and support, and that of other supporters like you, St Luke’s Hospice can continue to care for people (and their partners) at the end of their lives.

Last year St Luke's Hospice supported over 1,000 local people of all ages, supporting them in ways which go beyond the scope and funding of the NHS. Being a charity they provide all their care for free, so any help you can give will mean a lot.