Hello to those who will read this message. I will be very honest, because I really need to talk to someone. I am a student, I am 14 years old, and I work really hard to get good grades. In fact, I have very good averages, but despite all that, I feel a little invisible. I see my classmates receiving great gifts, rewards, for averages that, frankly, are below mine. And me, on my side, I have nothing. It is as if my efforts are not seen, as if what I do does not count.

I tried to ask my mother for things, just a little something to please me from time to time, but she never answers me well. She is often drinking and, every time I try to talk to her or ask her anything, she starts screaming. She screams so much that I end up keeping quiet, giving up. So I keep everything to myself. I don’t want to rock the boat or cause more problems at home, but it hurts. It really hurts to see that no matter what I do, it doesn’t matter.

I know it might be a little selfish to want presents, to want moments where I can just have fun without worrying about all that. But honestly, I feel really bad right now. I just need to blow off steam, to feel like everyone else, to have something of my own that makes me happy. I wish I could treat myself to little things, maybe games, or outings, just something for me. It doesn’t seem like a lot to me, but in my situation, it’s almost impossible.

I’m starting to wonder if I should keep working so hard at school. What’s the point if no one recognizes my efforts? Why do I keep trying if I don’t get anything in return, not even a simple “well done”? It’s frustrating. But at the same time, I tell myself that I shouldn’t give up. Even if my mother doesn’t support me the way I want, I know that what I do is important. My grades, my work, it’s for me, it’s for my future. I shouldn’t let this situation make me doubt my worth.

I don’t know what to do to feel better. Maybe someone who reads this message will have an idea, or can tell me that I’m not alone in going through this. What I do know is that I don’t want to stay in this situation, where all I feel is sadness and frustration. I want to find a way out, to give myself moments of happiness, even if it seems far away.

Thank you for taking the time to read my message.