Thank you for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

Buckle up and brace yourself, for what I'm about to tell you may come as a surprise or it may just hit a nerve that you wasn't expecting. This is my story. This is my time to be completely open and honest with you all. This isn't for any self gain I can assure you, but more so for all those that are currently fighting their own demons daily behind closed doors, like I once was. Believe me when I say, you are not alone. And you're certainly not the first to feel like you currently might be right now.....

As many will know, 2023 was not my greatest of years. Mentally I was tested beyond belief, with a snowball only I could see, full of doom and gloom constantly rolling and expanding before my very eyes. From an outsiders view, it could appear that I had everything at my finger tips, full of energy and smiles. Cracking jokes, full to the brim with work and with exciting opportunities at my feet, being a social butterfly, bringing joy and laughter to all those around me, empowering those I worked with to be the very best versions of themselves possible. But unfortunately that snow ball of doom and gloom eventually caught up with me, so much so that I tried to take my own life. To end all the pain and suffering I had built up not only in 2023 but over the last 33 years of being on this planet.

On the 20th February 2024 I intended to end all that suffering. However, even though I knocked on those golden gates not just once but four times in total, my time on this planet was not over. Waking up from a comas hold after five weeks to having no memory whatsoever or to even knowing where I was or even why. Disorientated, frail, weak, literally speechless and full of the unknown, for whatever reason I battled on. Shielded with the love of three amazing individuals who were all set on seeing me back on my feet and being NMD once more.

I know ill never be that Nicholas I once was and I'm ok with that. That Nicholas didn't work for me. This new me doesn't need to impress anyone. He doesn't have to perform daily to live up to expectations previously expected. This version of me wasn't ready to call it a day. I have a message to share and love and understanding to offer to those in need. Over the month of February I intend on walking a full 56 miles in aid of the charity, Mind. Regardless of my tracheostomy which causes massive implications to my breathing, with strength and determination I will achieve this goal, raising awareness for mental health by sharing my very own story and bringing down the stigma held towards mental health. Lets face it, I've cheated death a number of times, so what's walking 56 miles in the grand scheme of things?

Mind is a charity that makes mental health a daily priority, offering a range of services and advice for those in need. Your donations would be greatly received, not only by Mind but by myself in knowing that I have your support, trust and faith in being able to complete 56 miles, regardless of my physical circumstances.

Thank you for reading and thanking you for any donation received, big or small. I'm determined to break the stigma towards mental health and with this said, ill be more than happy to talk to anyone who might be in need of an ear to listen to or simply just a reality check from an outsiders opinion.

Written with love and honesty,

NMD 🧡

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