I was going to take some time off Fundraising, I owed it to my family. After 24 hour rugby matches, London to Paris, Lockdown Marathon's and London Marathon as a Dinosaur, it felt time to hand the metaphorical baton on to other's to take it on. I felt at peace with this, i'd done my bit, I'd remembered and honoured my Dad's memory.

Me and Em had started to find our feet as adoptive parents, K had smashed his first year at school, but struggled with the end of the year, it was the right time to focus on my family. I was ready for it....

Then History decided to repeat it's self....

I put K to bed and Em was complaining of a Migraine, I tucked her into bed and told her to rest and I'd be in the spare room so she could rest up; We were going to Longleat the next day and we were looking forward to it. I just wanted her to get a good rest....

Sadly she never woke up and I came in, in the morning to find she had died.

I was the one to find dad had died and now I was the one to find my beautiful wife had died and it's now on me to look after my Son and navigate him through what I went through as a boy.

As I write this, Em has been gone three weeks and yesterday was our 12th Wedding Anniversary... I'm not ok at the moment, and that's ok. I'm pulling our life together, navigating a lot and figuring out what the bloody hell I do without her.

And that means exercise is once again where I go to grieve and channel my anger and pain into something positive.

And if I'm going to do this, I need to go big.

The opposite of grief is forgetting and Em must never be forgotten. I believe strongly in the words of Terry Pratchett:

"No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone's life is only the core of their actual existence."

So that's my plan to remember Em.

I've set an ambitious target. I've brought a treadmill, the turbo is ready, I can train when K sleeps, I can and I will do this.

13 Grand, for 13 years of marriage on the 23.08.27.

23 Events (TBD) covering at least 800 Miles to signify the date we married.

I'm going to need all the help I can get, every £1 you can spare, and in return I promise, I will make sure Em is not forgotten and some good comes from this.