The baggage of trauma hangs on us through every aspect of life until someone comes along to unburden us.

I have suffered from the events of 15th August 1998 and relied on those in authority to get me through it. Little did I know then how abysmally I would be treated. Since then I have encountered many more police colleagues who were treated - or not treated - the same.

The effects of trauma never leaves us. We might think it does but if those affected actually owned up they would say that it has blighted their lives and undoubtedly the lives of those closest to them.

As I approach another birthday I want to use this time to inform colleagues that there is help out there but sadly, as those in the west know only too well, it is a lottery. I want to encourage people to speak to someone and perhaps on the way raise a few pounds.

During my experience I was never offered 'gold star' treatment. I now know because someone wrote on my file that I 'refused all treatment'. Utter tripe. This means I have been bouncing along trying to understand and react. Over the years in MAPS I have helped so many others seek solace. After another setback to recognising my condition I took the step to seek formal counselling last year.

Instead of referring others I referred myself to our MAPS partners in Brooke House. Not one bit was it easy but it had to be done. I was diagnosed with PTSD around 2002 but to actually sit down with a counsellor and try to do something with the horrors I saw on that and subsequent days was a revelation in what the body can withstand. Chronic complex PTSD was going to be a hard job for anyone to deal with. In my case the anyone was Elizabeth (not her real name), from Brooke House - God love her.

What Elizabeth did with me was mesmerising. I called her a witch on many an occasion but for the first time I had someone who cared and knew how to approach my symptoms with EMDR - powerful stuff that takes away an image and locks it away somewhere else.

Elizabeth is now seeing others but here comes the next sad bit. There are no specific funds in Brooke House for the treatment of my police colleagues. Hundreds of colleagues in the west suffer in silence because they wont or cannot get to see a specialist. They may not want to sit in a non descript office for a statutory 6 sessions talking. They want proper services in a safe environment.

Here is the crux of it - this year I want to highlight the fantastic work being done in Brooke House. I want to encourage people to open up and seek help. I want you to come on the journey that I have trod.

Every penny that I can raise this August will go to Brooke House to allow them to continue their vital work. Every single person who reads this will realise that services in the west are not adequate and need to be properly funded. Let those in authority and influence know this.

With an Inquiry into Omagh coming up, many hundreds of colleagues will be reminded of the horrors they experienced. Many of those will have never spoken. The services of Brooke House and others will be needed. Please keep them all in your thoughts.

If anyone wants to talk 02882245459 is the number for MAPS or ring any other organisation near you.

In anticipation - thank you