Hello. Thanks for wandering onto this page—presumably by mistake, or because you enjoy watching a train wreck in slow motion.

In a moment of profound delusion, I’ve signed myself up to cycle from Kilimanjaro to the Tanzanian coast on September 17, 2026. Yes, you read that correctly. I’ve decided to swap the comfort of my sofa for several hundred miles of saddle sore and inevitable heatstroke, all in the name of Transaid.

Why am I doing this to myself?

Transaid is a genuinely fantastic charity that works to transform lives through better transport and mobility in sub-Saharan Africa. They’re actually making a difference; I, on the other hand, will mostly be making a spectacle of myself.

I’ve set a target of £4,000. It’s a terrifyingly large number, but it’s still probably less than the cost of the physiotherapy I’ll need once this is over.

Two of my equally mad colleagues will be joining me too. With an average age of 62, and our gold-medal days some time past, this will be a real struggle.

Donating through JustGiving is remarkably painless—certainly more so than the 45-degree incline I’ll be failing to climb. It’s fast, secure, and they won't pester you or sell your soul to marketing bots. The cash goes straight to Transaid, so none of it is wasted on my inevitable emergency supply of blister plasters.

If you could spare a few quid to see me suffer for a brilliant cause, I’d be eternally grateful. Honestly, every penny helps, if only to justify the ridiculous amount of Lycra I’ve been forced to purchase.