We found out we were expecting baby Ruben in May - our hearts were already full to the brim and we didn’t stop for a second as our lives only just started to settle into some sort of normality with a 5 and a 2 year old running around the house.

In July we found out baby Ruben’s heart stopped beating during a scan.

It was only at this point when we stopped. We stopped to google just how many little souls don’t make it. We stopped to give him a name. We stopped to grieve the room we made in our lives and hearts and to process the void that will never be filled.

There was no kicks, there were no gifts, there were no clothes or memories. The pain of what could have been and all of the thoughts of what Roo could have become crushed us.

We were so very blessed by the support from Leighton hospital and both of our work places. We felt so loved by the ones close to us and we allowed ourselves time to be still for a moment to grieve.

Myself and Craig are going to walk 100km in September in memory of Ruben. We will take our time to remember Roo, spend time with our 2 amazing children and appreciate the fact that they are here with us and able to make a 2k walk feel like a marathon.

We are looking to raise money for Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal death charity which operates across the UK: supporting anyone affected by the death of a baby; working in partnership with health professionals to ensure that bereaved parents and families receive the best possible care; and promoting improvements in practice and funding research that could help to reduce the loss of babies’ lives.

We were so lucky to be surrounded by so many amazing people during our journey and the amount of support we received along the way was incredible. We didn’t get a chance to feel or hold our baby - the pain of those that do is not something that are able to imagine and we hope every penny is spent well and helps to make their journeys just a tiny bit more manageable ❤️