A little over a year ago, I found myself receiving aftercare from the midwifery team at Raigmore Hospital; and having discussions with the Chaplain and Funeral Directors regarding the arrangements after our baby’s passing.

You see, our baby boy Robin had died. He died during the 2nd trimester. He had Triploidy syndrome. Unrelated to parental age or our genetics, it is a rare, chromosomal disorder which normally sees most babies miscarry within the first trimester. Our little boy was a fighter, however this syndrome is fatal and his little body – which looked perfect to us when he was playing around and hiccupping during our scan – was ‘incompatible’ with life. He was born peacefully on 15th July.

Leaving the hospital without your baby truly is indescribable; and we hope that our friends reading this, will understand our silence. I completely broke down.

Our consultant had referred us to Held in Our Hearts and I blindly accepted their support, even though I had never heard of them; and didn’t know how they could possibly help me in the darkest time of my life.

Their Hospital to Home worker visited us at home within the first couple of weeks, which then led to being assigned a peer support worker and a baby loss counsellor. They gave me a hospital bag with little cherished items in it, which have helped me build a lasting connection with Robin. They hold special events like a Wave of Light walk during Baby Loss Awareness week in October and a Christmas Memorial Service.

I am so relieved I accepted their support because they have quite literally been the lifeline I needed. Having support from people who have a shared living experience of losing their baby has been absolutely invaluable, vital even.

The enormity of losing Robin suddenly felt validated. They let me cry, they let me talk; most importantly they ask me about Robin and in turn they make my heart feel cared for.

I am extremely passionate about this little powerhouse of a charity and forever grateful for them, as without them, I may still not be able to talk about one of my children out loud.

Not only are his dad and I running the 10K in honour of our Robin, proudly wearing his name across our chest – We are also running in honour of the parents who have lost their precious little ones, some dear to us, most who we’ve never met.

Nobody should face the death of their baby alone and we want to do everything we can to ensure that Held in Our Hearts can keep supporting those, who are carrying the heaviest, invisible weight in their hearts each day of their lives, while the world keeps turning.

One foot in front of the other. One breath at a time.

Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

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