My life changed forever in June 2020 when my beautiful, bright 19 year old daughter Sarah took her own life. Suddenly, we found ourselves dealing with matters that no parent expects to face. A trip to university to pack up a room and collect the belongings without your beloved child, dealing with police, facing inquests and trying to arrange a funeral under strict covid restrictions.

How do you choose a funeral director? What do you need to do? How do you function when you cannot believe what is happening is real? Sarah loved dogs, and as the local funeral directors left out dog biscuits and a bowl of water that was the one we picked. They suggested an independent Celebrant - a lovely lady Linda, who met with us and really let us talk and get a feel for the Sarah we knew. Without realising it, I asked that question that I have now come to dread “Do you have children?” and that is when I found out that she too, had lost a child. Linda gave me some literature from a charity I had never heard of “The Compassionate Friends (tcf) ” and in those early darkest days; reading some of it helped me with some of the questions and thoughts constantly circling through my brain. A few months later she drove me to my first local support meeting with tcf.

We are a “club” to which no-one wants to belong. But it is also a safe one, where all the members have lost a treasured child and so understand things like no-one else quite can.

The Compassionate Friends is a national organisation of bereaved parents offering support, understanding and friendship to others after the loss of a child, of any age, from any cause.

It has a national helpline that is staffed by volunteers who are bereaved parents themselves and which offers support and information 365 days a year.

It also offers:

• a comprehensive website and moderated online community forum

• local support groups and one-to-one support

• weekend gatherings and retreats

• group support via social media in private, well-moderated Facebook groups

• information leaflets, bereavement support publications and a unique postal library on all aspects of bereavement

• some specialist support for adult bereaved siblings is also available.

I am lucky to have a loving, supportive family and good friends but sometimes I feel guilty showing them the true depth of my grief as I don’t want to be a burden as they too have their own feelings of loss for Sarah to cope with. But regularly attending support meetings allows me to be honest, know that I am not walking alone, help others in their grief and try to build a future without my lovely girl.

My sister Gill has been such a great support and it was her that introduced me to running. Being in nature, physical activity and having something else to focus on has helped me deal with the intensity of my grief these last four years. It is great honour to represent The Compassionate Friends taking on the London Landmarks Half Marathon on 6th April 2025 and especially to have my stalwart sister run by my side. It is also fitting as Sarah loved trips to London, especially at Christmas, where as a family we would take a bus to see all the sights and Christmas lights.

We are being joined by our friend Teresa, a local GP, who herself was unaware of TCF. She is now in a good position to share amongst others in the medical community details of the charity so that any other parents who have sadly lost children in the future can be offered information and support.

The Compassionate Friends is a charity that many people have never heard of but one that does invaluable work not covered by anyone else. I am hoping to raise some funds to enable them to continue to help others as they have me and would be grateful for any support.

The Compassionate Friends supports parents grieving the loss of a child of any age. Using peer to peer support we offer a helpline, support groups nationwide and retreats for those whose child has died by any cause. We also support adult brothers and sisters who are left behind. Thank you for helping us make a difference and enabling us to train our 250 volunteers, themselves bereaved parents. For more information please go to our website, www.tcf.org.uk.

Carolyn Brice, CEO