On the 19th of June, our whole world shattered into pieces as we heard the words ‘I’m sorry, there is no heartbeat’. Words never in a million years we expected to hear after visiting the maternity triage team to check up on our cheeky baby who liked to stop kicking when George felt my bump.

George was dressed for work, I was expecting to be logging back on by lunch time. Our whole world grounded to a halt - as midwives, consultants came in and out of the room advising on the next steps. It was all a blur! We were to have our baby early and sleeping… we didn’t even know their gender.

On the 22nd of June at 12:15pm we welcomed our beautiful baby boy, Sidney McCaffery weighing 1lb 1oz. The greatest but saddest day of our lives!

The midwives helped us with ‘memory-making’ activities funded by the Charity 4Louis. They provide cold 'cuddle cots' and memory boxes to hospitals to allow bereaved parents to spend invaluable time with their babies before having to say goodbye.

The cot and memory box allowed us to take Sidney’s hand and footprints, bath and dress him, take photos with him ( hundreds in fact), have Grandparents visit and place photos of us and the dog for him to keep.There was also a teddy in the box for us to give him and one for us to bring home.

This wasn’t how we’d imagined meeting our baby, but at least we could spend some time with him and leave the hospital with a big box of memories and keepsakes, instead of leaving completely empty-handed as we passed happy couples carrying their healthy newborns home.

In the few weeks that have passed since then, we’ve been completely immersed in the tragic world of baby loss. The response after sharing that we had lost our baby has been overwhelming. It's opened our eyes to just how many families have been in heartbreakingly similar situations.

In all the sadness and scariness of what happened, we're thankful we were able to meet Sidney, spend some time with him, and create those memories we'll always be able to look back on.

It’s charities like 4Louis that make this possible and make a huge difference to newly bereaved parents who are going through the most awful time in their lives.

Since having Sidney, we've come to learn that many UK hospitals have limited, or no, cuddle cots (the specialist equipment that allows bereaved parents to spend this extended time with their babies). And not all bereaved parents receive a memory box and get to create the memories we did - as these cots and boxes are limited and entirely dependent on charity funding. 

We can't imagine going through what we did and then just having to leave the hospital empty-handed with no memories other than a traumatic birth experience.

On 19th July, we are having a celebration of life with immediate family ,and we’ve been asked by some of our lovely friends and family if they can send flowers. We have decided to ask for donations to 4Louis in lieu of flowers.

Any amount, no matter how big or small, will make have a huge impact. It costs £1,600 to provide a hospital with a cuddle cot and just £30 for a memory box.

So if there’s any amount you’re able to spare, please join us in helping support families whose worlds have been shattered and have lost their babies.

Thank you in advance and much love,

Lauren, George and Sidney 💙xxx