I was a Firefighter with Derbyshire Fire Service at Heanor Fire Station and it was 18.53 hours on the 27th May 1989 when I turned out on my last ‘shout’. While answering the call I had a RTA from which I suffered life changing injuries. I was told it would be unlikely that I would ever walk again without crutches. I spent 9 months in a wheelchair and around 3 1/2 years non weight baring waiting for my leg to heal. I had a double segmented fractured femur a compound tibia and fibula and I tore the anterior posterior and medial ligaments in my knee. I also had a fractured ankle wrist shoulder elbow skull and nose. I was medically discharged from the service on a pension at the age of 28. I had many years of surgeries, infections, physio and setbacks. During this time I suffered both mentally and physically, having gone from being a firefighter, lorry driver and rugby player to being unable to walk and to do everyday tasks that I had previously taken for granted. I was sent on 2 occasions by the Firefighters charity to their convalescent home at Marine Court in West Sussex these breaks helped me enormously. Being unable to work I was the stay at home parent for my children Gareth and Kirsty which was the most fantastic time of my life. As the years passed I began to get heavier through inactivity and due to the constant pain in my leg every so often I fell into the blackest of holes mentally. I ended up weighing 21.5 stone and had to wear a metal calliper on my leg to stop it giving way. Eventually I was referred by my doctor to my local gym on the health referral programme. I was put on a treadmill at 2.5 kph for 5 mins and I genuinely thought I was going to die. Fast forward 15 years I have lost 8 stone and I now work at that same gym, I teach exercise classes for all abilities and I also run that same health referral scheme at 2 gyms and do things everyday that I never thought I’d ever do. Despite the ongoing leg and joint problems I’ve managed to complete 4 full Ironman races plus many other events and I have also raced nationally and internationally as a track paracyclist. Despite all of this and having a great wife, successful grown up children with families of their own, an extended family and great friends I still suffered occasionally from the creeping blackness. I realise now that I have never come to terms with my firefighting career being taken away from me and that I have been living with PTSD for many years. I felt guilty as I have for years because I have no right to be depressed when there are so many people worse off than me. By chance (or fate) I saw an advert from the charity offering help to serving firefighters and their families and also to retired personnel. So I reached out to them and I was very quickly offered a place on their Hope programme. This course was like a light bulb switching on in my head and it has reset how I think, react and feel and most importantly to be kind to myself and also find ways of accepting things I cannot change. I am so grateful that even after all these years my service and sacrifice matter to them. I am more optimistic about being able to cope better than I could before if I’m ever faced with the blackness again. So by way of a thank you and as closure I will be doing the Great North Run on the 13th September in full fire kit and a BA set on behalf of the FireFighters Charity. This will be a christening for my new hip which will be 1 year and 1 week old on race day, I want to raise as much money for this fantastic cause as possible to help them to continue to help people like me and others in the Fire Service Family in their time of need.

Thanks in advance for you generosity and thanks for reading.

Kindest regards

Steve