Margate Lifeboat Station are in need of a new modern building to house their boats, tractors, equipment and classrooms for training. Their previous "temporary" station was in place since the 1980s!!

The cost of the new station is £3.5m.

My fundraising challenge?

The organisers of the emergency services section at Biddenden Tractor Fest said "Come and join us this year with your model lifeboats, help raise money for the incredible new lifeboat station!"

I said: "Sounds lovely! I’ll bring some biscuits."

They neglected to mention that raising money involves scaling a 105-foot fire engine turntable ladder from the Bredgar and Wormshill Light Railway that reaches somewhere into the lower stratosphere.

For context: I get dizzy standing on a chair. My survival instinct is finely tuned to "remain firmly on solid ground" But for the brave crew of the Margate RNLI, I agreed to defy gravity.

The below is how I imagine the event will go.

Step 1 (Ground Level): Feeling heroic. Thumbs up for the camera. I am basically an action movie star.

Step 15 (Roof level): Okay, the people below are looking a bit small. My hands are gripping the metal rungs so hard they are practically welding together.

Step 30 (The Halfway Point): Why is the ladder moving? Is that the wind, or is my entire body vibrating at a frequency of pure panic?

Step 50 (The Point of No Return): I have forgotten what the ground looks like. My life is now just metal rungs and the sound of my own hyperventilating. I am bargaining with Gods I didn't even believe in five minutes ago.

Step 75 (The Dead Zone): A seagull just flew past and gave me a look of genuine pity.

Step 105 (The Summit): I made it. The view of the new show is absolutely breathtaking—mostly because I have forgotten how to inhale.