I found out about calm the first time when I ran the Liverpool 1/2 marathon. I saw someone running in one the vests and wondered who they were and why he was running for them. I visited their website and I liked what they were doing and could relate through my experience of losing my own father. I considered running for them but I stalled for a few months. I don't know why I may have been a bit apprehensive about confronting my demons.

Then a few months later I was driving my Royal Mail van. I had radio 2 on. The DJ Steve Wright mentioned they were doing an interview with someone about CALM. It was radio 6 presenter Tom Robinson and he was talking about a song he was releasing called "don't jump don't fall" to raise money for the charity and awareness. It immediately struck a chord with me and I thought it was a pretty cool thing he was doing. 

It also reminded me of another family who I saw at a wake at my local pub. It was two lads who just lost there dad like me 15 years earlier. I remember looking at the youngest brother. He was absolutely devastated, stunned and looked like he was just going through the motions. It was like looking at myself years earlier. I wanted to put my arm around him and say something. But realised that there was nothing I could say. I felt helpless and a bit guilty. 

Cut a long story short. When I finished work that day I drove to practice for a local event. There was a big que of traffic so I went into a petrol garage shop to get something quick to eat for energy. I went to pay and looked up. The person in front of me was the young lad paying for his fuel. I believe in that things happen for a reason. And this was fates way of telling me to actually go ahead and do this. 

That is why I'm running for calm. To confront my own demons, for the young lad in the pub and his family, for my family and friends and more importantly to raise awareness so men actually seek help before it goes to far and too serious like when you get that knock on the door. 

Give people the chance to help. It is beyond words losing someone in this way. And I want to do what I can to raise awareness and help.

Thank you

Paul Layfield 

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