On 10th October, I’ll be taking part in the Sands Ribbon Run alongside our family and friends, in memory of our beautiful baby boy, Christopher, who we lost at 21 weeks.

At our 20-week scan, we were given the devastating news that there was no amniotic fluid surrounding Christopher. Further investigations showed that his kidneys had not developed as they should have. Christopher had no right kidney, and his left kidney was filled with cysts.

We were told that his chances of surviving after birth were incredibly small. Even if he survived the birth, we didn’t know how much time we would have with him, as his kidney function would not have been enough to sustain him and a kidney transplant would not have been an option for him as a newborn.

We were faced with a decision that no parent should ever have to make. We made the heartbreaking decision to undergo a procedure to stop Christopher’s heart, knowing we were making that decision entirely out of love for him and to prevent him from suffering.

Three days later, I gave birth to our beautiful boy.

The physical journey unfortunately hasn’t ended there. I have since discovered that I have retained products of conception, meaning some pregnancy tissue has remained in my uterus following the birth, and I now need surgery to remove it.

After everything my body and heart have been through, taking part in this event for Christopher means more to me than I can put into words. I want to cross that finish line for my little boy and prove to myself that I am strong, even after experiencing something that has changed me forever.

Most importantly, I want Christopher’s name to be spoken and remembered.

He existed. He was loved beyond measure. He will always be our son, Olivia’s little brother, and a part of our family.

Every step we take on 10th October will be for him. 💙

By raising money for Sands, we hope to help support other families who find themselves experiencing the unimaginable loss of a baby, while keeping Christopher’s memory alive.

We love you forever, Christopher. We will carry you with us always, until the day we are reunited again. 💙