So then, my name is Marcus Hender and I am a 40 year old, kinda belligerent but always right Bloke.

It has to be said, I have, a rather defined view of things in the World that are either "Good" or "Bad".....for example....

Good :

Boobs.

Beer.

Bacon.

Meat (I didn't include bacon in this because bacon should be in it's own food group...)

Curvy Chicks.

Being as non PC as I can possibly be.

BBQ...not the crappy burnt on the outside, raw in the middle kinda stuff. Real, Low'n'Slow BBQ.

Caffeine.

Cigar smoking.

Bad :

Vegetarians and their more hateful incarnations, Vegans.

Hippies.

Metrosexuality.

"Fashionable" haircuts.

Any piece of clothing with the prefix "Skinny"

People with so called food allergies....it's not an allergy, you just don't like it.

Non alcohol beer....I mean, for all that is Holy, what is the point?

Clothing that is labelled as XXL size but will only fit a prepubescent, anorexic, Biafran Kid....

Caffeine free coffee.

Of course, this isn't a definitive list....there's a lot more that pisses me off on a regular basis but I digress.

Now, those of you who know me that my daily diet basically consists of :

Morning = Caffeine and Meat.

Midday = Caffeine, Meat'n'Cheese.

Afternoon = Caffeine, Meat'n'Cheese.

Evening = Beer and Meat. With the occasional vegetable, such as chips or onion rings thrown in or the odd bit of fruit, some chillies mostly. (This, does however, change if on holiday....then it's mostly just Beer).

The reason for this is to raise some money for MacMillan (www.macmillan.org.uk) and Ovarian Cancer Action (www.ovarian.org.uk) two bloody good charities that deserve all the support they can get.

Of course, to raise money for these charities I need to do something that will make you want to put your hands in your pockets and donate....I thought about a skydive, but let's face it, it's been done a load of times before, it's a bit crap and there is no way I am being strapped to some bloke in a boiler suit only to jump out of a perfectly good 'plane.

I then thought about a sponsored Beer and Bacon Consumption Record attempt, but this would mean you lot would donate money for stuff I do on a regular basis anyway.

If I'm honest, it stumped me for a bit....then I had a flash of inspiration....To get you lot to donate money, you need something in return, something that will push me out of my comfort zone, something that will have a profound affect upon me......I need to give up the shit that I love, the stuff I adore, the stuff that makes me get up in the morning......

So, if the following amounts are raised by midnight 31.05.14 I will do the following for the whole of June 2014 :

£1000 = I will give up caffeine.

£1500 = I will give up caffeine and senior tizer.

£2000 = I will give up caffeine, senior tizer and become a vegetarian.

£3000 = All of the above and I will become one of those Hezbollah like vegan creatures throughout June 2014, plus I will not post any images or comments or links to any BBQ, Hot Chicks, Boobs, Bacon etc to any Social Media platform (trust me, this is >99% of the shit I post....just check my wall out on FB). I will also do NO PHYSICAL BBQ'ing in June 2014.

C’mon, bring out your sadistic side, I’m sure I have pissed enough people off over the years who’ll donate and smash the given targets to make me miserable all throughout June 2014!

You can donate via Just Giving, here's the link :

www.justgiving.com/MMMinJune2014

You can also donate via a bloody good Mates page too, don’t be shy now! :

www.justgiving.com/teams/ANightOfMusic