I have decided to challenge myself

Both physically and mentally by taking part in a white collar boxing match, I have wanted to complete a charity boxing fight since before becoming a mother. I actually signed up in 2016 but shortly before training started, I found out I was pregnant with my rainbow baby Pippa. Since then things like being a mum and having a second child a pandemic etc. have been keeping me busy! It’s now 8 years since I first wanted to do this and I am definitely older and a lot less fit but I am determined to work as hard as possible for such a good cause…

I have chosen to raise money for birth trauma association as this charity is very close to my heart. If you don’t know my story already please take the time to have a read. I will try to summarise…

In February 2020 my son came into the world 10 days early, after a very traumatic labour ending with an emergency C-section he was here.. completing our family a not so little 9lb 1 baby boy our Cohen. After birth it’s true all the pain fear etc. goes away as soon as you hold your baby well it did with my pips…. But this was different so different. What should have been one of the happiest moments of my life I quickly realised was the start of a nightmare that seems even sometimes now to of still not ended! This doesn’t take away the magical amazing boy I have!

My sons head was fractured during my Labour but this not confirmed until the following day after being left alone in a freezing recovery room for 11 hours. Whilst In  the recovery room we noticed his head and asked the professionals who said it was normal it wasn’t until the following morning when being checked to be discharged we asked for a second opinion and then what can only be described as being physically consumed by a dark grey storm cloud happened… within minutes of my Cohens hat being removed from his head he was rushed for an X-ray which on route changed to a Ct scan I followed broken in a wheelchair and had to sit outside the doors hearing the big machine, knowing my new born baby alone in a big machine me waiting outside helpless.

It was then confirmed a bleed on the brain and a depressed skull fracture. Cohen was rushed to neonatal put on all sorts of machines everyone giving opinions but all the specialists not being able to tell us anything as the type of fracture was too rare to them. Caused when the dr tried to manually rotate baby as he had turned back to back during Labour. When my baby was just 3 days old I honestly never thought I’d bring him home he truly is a miracle.

At Cohens 6 week GP appointment I was diagnosed with PTSD following his birth. For what felt like a life time was in fact only 11 months. Cohen didn’t reach any of his milestones for months didn’t even make eye contact but he quickly from 11months onwards he proved everyone wrong and caught up! 

My son is now nearly 4 thankfully is thriving as every specialist that saw him as a baby says they can not believe how well he is doing! We have been told cohen has hearing damage to his left ear following the fracture but this is still regularly checked/ tested. So other than the hearing we believe there is no permanent damage as far as we are aware still under a paediatrician but he likely will be until an adult! 

If you got this far thank you! Although it’s very long this is massively summarised. Thank you so much for reading, see birth trauma is not spoken about enough and 100% does not have enough support at times I have felt so alone when in fact  30,000 woman a year are affected like myself with PTSD following a traumatic birth so I have chosen birth trauma association as not only does our story speak for itself but they do the following and I wish I’d known of them sooner….

They support parents - both mothers and partners - who are experiencing distress after a traumatic birth, whether that's full-blown postnatal PTSD (which affects about 30,000 women a year) or other forms of distress such as depression or anxiety. Birth trauma can be immensely difficult to live with, and parents often find there is no one they can talk to about the experience. Our Facebook group, a safe place where parents can support each other, has grown to more than 14,000 members. We also offer support by phone and over email.