This page has been set up in Tush’s memory to give something back to the hospital that allowed a young family to stay together a little longer and gave him the opportunity to live.

It was 2019. Tush was a happily married man with two young children, a job that he was passionate about and life was good. He was well loved by all, played football twice weekly, cricket every weekend and generally was the heart and soul of any gathering. 

In early March, he caught the flu. Just normal man flu. Shivery, a bit of a fever and a headache. He saw a GP as he had mild chest pain and was advised to go to A&E at his earliest convenience for an ECG. We went to Watford General that same night with the thought that this was nothing but a late night adventure, home in time for tea in the morning. That was the last thing that Tush remembered. The ECG was abnormal and Tush was transferred to Harefield Hospital, where he was admitted. His condition deteriorated significantly over the following days, despite the efforts of doctors and machines. Eventually we were advised that the only way to help Tush to live would be to completely remove his heart and replace it with a device called a Total Artificial Heart (TAH) until he was well enough for a transplant. And so the journey began.

The TAH implantation was successful and 10 days after being sedated and paralysed, Tush awoke to a very different life. The degree of muscle wasting in those 10 days meant that he once again had to learn how to walk and build his strength back up to the point that he could hold small items in his hands. He also had to be weaned from a ventilator, which meant that for a long period, he was unable to talk. Because of the weakness in his hands, he could not even hold a pen to write down the many questions that he innevitably had. 

Weeks passed and Tush was eventually stable enough to be transferred from ITU to a ward. He worked tirelessly with incredible support from physios and the medical team to strengthen himself and eventually, 7 months after this all began, he was well enough to come home. 

Living with a TAH was a challenge, one that Tush threw himself into with gusto. He always said that giving up was not an option and through his love for his children found the strength to embrace daily life, school runs and family time which, in his words, may seem insignificant to most, but for him were monumental. He tried to recapture as much normality as possible, even climbing two flights of stairs every night with an 8kg machine on his back so that he could tuck his children into bed. However, in early 2020, just before the start of the pandemic, Tush took a downward turn and ended up back in ITU. This time, we were told that he could never be successfully weaned from a ventilator. Despite their misgivings, the medical team agreed to try, although he was not expected to be able to leave ITU. Again, Tush fought for weeks. Again, he restarted the process of learning to walk and use his hands. Through sheer determination and with the support of the team at Harefield, over time he regained enough strength to walk out of the hospital and out to the car, waiting to take him back home.

17 months went by with few complications. Tush returned to work and recovered some more of the independence and time that he had lost from simply catching the flu. 

In late 2021, Tush’s kidneys failed and again, the outlook was grim. Yet again, Tush fought against what seemed inevitable with unfaltering support from the team at Harefield. He was eventually accepted for outpatient haemodialysis at Lister Hospital and was able to come home. 

The last admission to hospital was expected. His death was not. Tush fought against all odds to be with his family. To be there for his children as they grew up. He knew better than most that life was a gift. He wanted his story to be a source of inspiration to others to hold onto hope and never stop trying.

Tush’s strength, his fighting spirit and absolute determination to live are the legacy that he leaves behind.