I have just recently lost my soulmate my beloved husband Jay just 5 months ago to Cancer and I have lost to many good friends too. It is a awful disease which takes away good souls too soon and for some the time they get to say goodbye is extremley small just like my husband.

Jay was originally diagnosed with AML Leukemia 5 years ago on 18th December 2012 just 6 months after we got married. He only had sore legs and felt exhausted and when I made him go for a simple blood test it came back with AML Leukemia.

We were given 5 days to see if Jay would live or die from the illness or the treatment as the AML was so agressive and so was the treatment. How could this happen to the love of your life?? We were trying for a baby of our own as we had two children each from previous relationships but so wanted a child between us. We had only just got married. He was fit and healthy and worked out every day almost to keep fit for his role in the British Army.

On that awful day I had to leave him at the hospital in the knowledge he may not be there in the morning. I had to prepare our children and his family that he was seriously ill and could die within days whilst plan Christmas for the children.....awful time!!!!

I didnt bring Jay home properly until February 2013 as we fought and battled the disease for months. In May 2013 we were grateful to a stem donnor who kindly gave Jay their stem cells which worked and Jay finally came home in June 2013 after three sets of intensive chemotheraphy, full body radiation and a transplant.

After many months of battling chronic fatigue, sickness, weight loss, hair loss, GVHD and many other ailments. Jay began to get feel and get healthy again. It took years and some of these symptoms never went away and he battled with them every day.

Jay and I wanted to beat this illness together so I gave up work to look after him as the symtoms effected his everyday life like chronic fatigue and low immune system. Can you imagine never going swimming again with your children...never be able to go to the cinema again or rallys ??? never go on a sunny holiday or a aeroplane again ...that was our life but we always made the best of it as life after cancer as it was always a gift!!!!

We moved on and opened up businesses as Jay seemed to not be able to get hired due to previously have cancer. He had given his life for this country for over 24 years as a Sgt Maj of the Royal Welsh regiment and now he couldnt even get a driving job due to AML. So we started our two businesses and hired others who struggled to go from Military to civillian life like him or had battles of their own in life..like a second chance.

Then when Jay went for his five year clearance appointment he was diagnosed again with AML Leukemia again. Almost five years to the day as his diagnoses was 21st December 2017 this time around. This time it was more agressive as his October blood test was clear !!!!

As this was the second time around Jay was not allowed certain treatments and the treatment came with higher risks and less availability. Jay went in for treatment on Boxing day and I didnt bring him home until 29th January 2018 fully. This time I brought him home to die as the hospital couldnt cure him this time around.

After two days we were called and offered a new trial which we got funding for and went straight into the trial. We knew this AML leukemia was more agressive then the last time as the percentage of cancer was rapidly increasing over those two short days but Jay being Jay and me being me were ready to give it our all !!!

We almost lost Jay during the trial and he was so brave as he faced terrible syptoms including vomiting, pain, swelling in hands and feet which his skin tore just to try and stay alive for me and his family. He was a true hero through and through!!!!

Then at the beginning of March he had another bone marrow test to see if the trail had worked and to our absolute horror it hadnt !!! My whole life was thrown into chaos and disbelief ...my gorgeous husband was going to die after all and everything he has always given. We were devastated and then Jay developed a infection which was only kept at bay by IV antibiotics.

The infection took hold and on 5th March 2018 we were sent home for the last time. I managed to get through the snow for blood and plaettes for the last time on Wednesday but Jay rapidly declined over the next couple of days and hours. He left this world on the Friday 9th March...we were devastated to watch him leave this world knowing there was nothing we could do to save him. I tried for five years to fix him and I felt so helpless and heart broken..he was my soul mate!!!

We are raising funds so that everyone who is staying on the Pembroke Ward (Salisbury Hospital) can be given the oppoortunity to memory make. We are looking to buy facilities so a family member or friend can stay with their loved ones during treatment or during those last moments If the cancer is terminal.

We were given this opportunity and I feel so blessed to have been able to care for Jay at night when he was in hospital, laugh with him all day and night, memory make at every opportunity and share our last few precious days together. Those memories has helped me to work through grief which I will always be grateful for. Thise precious personal moments snatched in the middle of the night is priceless and will last a life time !!!

All funds raised will go towards giving others the opportunity to memory make like we did xxx

So please, please help me raise money so others never walk my shoes xxx