Alexis Braun
Alex, Jody and Nick cycle Britain
Fundraising for ME Research UK
Story
THANK YOU!
I’d just like to say a very big thanks to all who have supported us for this trip. Along the way we received countless messages and texts of support all of which helped us to keep going. We also got regular information on how the sponsorship was going which further increased our resolve to finish the task in hand.
As you will have seen, the level of sponsorship we have received is way beyond our expectations and for this, we are incredibly grateful.
Beyond this I really get the sense that lots more people now know about ME and this is what really can make the difference. An article went into the local paper about the ride but mostly focusing on the illness. I received a call today from the paper to tell me that they had a massive response to the article from many different people. The majority of the people who wrote were sufferers or families of sufferers thanking the paper for their accurate reporting of the illness.
A DAILY ACCOUNT OF THE TRIP;
DAY 0
Arrived late in Penzance with the recognition that a) long train rides where the train stops alot and you can’t get drunk are not, in fact, all that entertaining. And b) spending your first night in a YHA dorm with at least 8 other men does not make your fellow cyclists happy.
DAY 1
The start to the day was always going to be a slightly annoying one as the first ten miles were going to be in the wrong direction heading from Penzance to Lands End. And the early indications of how the day might go during events experienced in the first mile left all feeling like maybe this whole thing was going to be an exercise in pain and frustration.
Left at 8am, not a useful time to be awake on a Saturday
At 0.17 miles Jody stung by a wasp
At 0.4 miles Nick had to ask for the first set of directions
But by 9:14 with the start photos at Lands End complete the ride started in earnest, with an aim to cycle 80 miles. By 14.08 lunch had been eaten and 50 miles had been peddled.
By the time Launceston was reached the following had been achieved; 110 miles - the length of Cornwall!
Incredibly tired but obviously very very happy the hunt for a bed was on, but as has happened so famously once before the first two inns were full, but at the third inn the kindly inn-keeper offered, well not a barn but a nice double bed (Alex and Nick to snuggle) and a little bed high up on a platform for Jody, who could happily retreat away from the smells below like an eagle in his eyrie…..
The evening proved not uneventful. With Nick’s back turned Alex popped the last piece of Nick’s chocolate left so temptingly nestled on the wrapper into his mouth. Sadly said chocolate was a little pebble Nick had picked up off the floor and it tasted like poo. A sniff test by Nick and Jody confirmed that Alex had indeed put a poo pebble in his mouth.
But a curry and two pints later (apparently two pints after 110 miles goes straight to your head, the sad truth of course is that two pints always go straight to Alex’s head) the happy campers retreated to sleep, ready and eager for Sunday morning and the start of Day 2.
DAY 2
Question: How many boys does it take to mend a puncture?
After a more successful first day then hoped for the targets for day 2 were maybe a little higher then was reasonable…. Especially as a late curry, two beers and a rather huge fry up had left all carrying just a touch more extra weight (and in some cases wind) then is perhaps advisable for ‘keen’ athletes…
09:45 set off feeling quite jolly with some good banter and joking, however this did have the adverse effect of less concentration on the cycling = less miles covered.
13:30 Lunch, a less then impressive Tesco’s sandwich and the realisation that small, rubbish English towns are indeed small and rubbish and quite depressing on a grey and quietly drizzling Sunday.
But despite this and also despite Alex’s aching bum the pace was picked up and by 17:00 Wellington had been reached, the planned stop for day 2. But the idea of spending that much time in Wellington meant the decision was made to push on the extra 24 miles to Glastonbury. However a quick call ahead (having learnt from the less then successful ‘just turn up and see’ tactic of the night before) revealed that tonight is the night of the equinox and Glastonbury is rammed. The words ‘damm hippies’ were uttered and a B&B was booked in Taunton.
In all the second day was another good day with 80 miles duly ticked off the list. Other noteworthy events were….
1) Nick had the first puncture of the trip (answer: Two, Jody had a fag)
2) Nick bought his first toothbrush
3) All three have chapped bums, now smeared in dollops of the age old Nursing Home stalwart, sudocream.
DAY 3
After the finest Travel Lodge breakfast possible (hmmm) the day started at 08:00. The roads were quite flat and a good average speed was maintained whilst heading with just a little trepidation towards ‘the big hill after Glastonbury.’ Right on day 1 Jody had been banned from reading the guide book as the descriptions of certain stretches and/or hilly bits meant said hills were being fearfully anticipated. But in the end the Glastonbury hill was a doddle and by 10:30 30 miles had been completed including said hill. Which, by the way, was not in fact a doddle but doable at least.
Lunch was enjoyed in scenic Bath and the world was a happy place.
But during lunch it started to get more cold and blustery with a light drizzle and after lunch the general pace slowed and all started feeling a touch frazzled. A swift sighting of Kathryn and Nick’s parents-in-law in a car park near Castle Coombe helped life spirits and by the end of the day (in Ledbury) 110 miles had been done – despite the lowest morale to date!
Other noteworthy news items:
On the way from Taunton to Ledbury the route took in Somerset, Avon, Wiltshire, and Gloucestershire and ended in Herefordshire.
At 260 Miles Jody got the second puncture (the answer this time would be 3).
Alex’s bum is so bruised as to be raw and close to bleeding.
Jody’s thighs and also bum were sore as hell.
Nick survived, but with the suspicion that his bum pain was being diverted by his more pressing neck pain
Another long day tomorrow, 110 miles, but with the view to being home in Chester with the promise of own beds, fresh pants and perhaps even a change of socks. Well for Alex and Jody anyway, the motivating factor for Nick is, um, Alex's spare bed??
DAY 4 – Home sweet sweet sweet home!!
“Up down up down ow ow ow up down, my bum hurts, aren’t they pretty fields, ahh the fresh air, there’s Jody’s arse I wonder if that hurts as much as mine, pedal, how fast am I going, what’s my name, ow ow ow, my neck, if we keep this up we can have a pint by 8, how far to Scotland?”
That’s just a little insight into the innermost workings of my brain during this journey.
So tonight we’re staying in the B&B of the gods, the angles are singing, we are in Chester and that means home!
I think you’ll agree that my lovely PA (amazing how cheaply you can get ‘em on the internet these days) has done a fine job making some sense of my fatigued warblings down the phone at the end of each day but tonight, for one night only, you get said warblings straight from the horse’s mouth…….
Oh to be a horse, or a sheep, or a car – anything not to be a bike or on one or even associated with the damn things. Alas that is not the case and come the morning I shall be firmly relocated in the saddle and ready to press on through the splendid example of man’s harmony with nature that is Runcorn!
I have had the odd moment or two to consider at this point what I might have to say regarding the journey. And, as you can see from above, I think I could probably ramble on about all sorts that come to mind during 10 hours spent on a seat no bigger than Barbie’s bed.
When I was a child I seem to remember that doing things for sponsorship was common but it had a different meaning. Inevitably you would be doing something per mile, hour, water bomb, egg – whatever it was at the time and you would be given pledges rather than hard cash. Only after doing said task successfully would you then begin the tedious process of collecting the cash. These days things seem to be different, I guess with the advent of the likes of this justgiving site but probably more likely with the coming of the adult years. Adults are bad at failing and consequently only tend to do stuff they can succeed at. When they say they will do something they generally do it. The effect of this is that when an adult says they will be doing something for charity you pretty much know you’re going to be parting with your cash. However, from those childhood days I remain a believer that fundraising should have an element doubt to it, a real feel of challenge about it.
With this ride, I thought that given enough training – it’d be fine. No probs. After all, loads of people do Lands End to John O Groats on a bike. Easy, easy, easy (cue wrestling stylee hand claps above head). Well NO. It’s tough. REALLY REALLY TOUGH. I’m not saying that we won’t do it. We will. We will do it, but by god it’s testing. It tests not only the body but the mind.
Imagine when you get to work tomorrow morning (about 8 – 8.30 for most of you I expect), then imagine getting on a bike. Then when you get home, when you’ve had that cuppa when you get in, when you’ve made your dinner and then when you’ve eaten it (leave the plates on the side, they can wait)….. then and only then consider getting off the imaginary bike. Along with that imagine hitting hill after hill, being hit by fly after fly (occasionally in the eye), wind, rain, punctures, other bike problems, bum directions….. Then think about trying to find somewhere to stay for the night. Well that’s our day. For 4 days so far (give or take) and for at least another 6. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that, I’m just making the point that we’re putting ourselves through a hell of a lot and that’s why it’s important to feel that we’ve done something to raise the profile of M.E.
So enough of all that. Day 4 is to be filed along with the others in the ‘pretty difficult’ folder. Notable events? Yeah a few, the best being Nick getting a wasp trapped in his helmet, but frankly, I hear a bath calling my name and the wafts of eucalyptus urging me to ease between the crisp bed sheets and sleep like baby - or the dead, depending.
By the way, there are some photos of our trip so far on Facebook, it's an open group so have a look - Cycling from LAND END to JOHN O GROATS for M.E. Charity
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=56382&l=6145a&id=551845297
DAY 5
Scientific fact: There are 2 types of flies that seem hell bent on attacking errant cyclists; the first are the tiny little ones that get stuck in the corner of your eyes and look like black eye poo, the second are those big, hairy ones that dive-bomb painfully off your eyeball.
But first, Nick had decided to sleep at his Mum and Dad’s so by the very leisurely start of day 5 everyone had enjoyed the comforts of home and spirits were high, some might say jaunty even.
The 09:30 meeting at the bike shop proved to be not only the required stop for Jody to have his bike serviced, but Alex and Nick flashed the plastic and added some more fetching items to their wardrobes. Alex had long hankered after leg-warmers just as fine as Jody’s, but was saddened to note his fellow cyclists were subsequently mocking him, it seems his legs are rather delicate and ballerina like once encased in shiny shiny black lycra.
After leaving the comforts of Chester the decision was made to stop at the Kennels, on approach however Alex had a big fly bounce directly off his eyeball. The realisation that said fly had probably been enjoying dog poo for most of it’s happy little life did nothing to improve matters.
But they soldiered on bravely to Frodsham (ooh some 8 miles away??) where Nick ate 2 sausage roles. Life was still nice….. And then the trek to Runcorn began. The holy book deemed a route which took in the expressway, dual carriage way and Frodsham bridge. The best way to highlight just how terrible this route is is the complete absence of road kill. No animal, no matter how daft, ventures along this path…. So with big lorry’s trundling past honking, dodging rusty bits of unidentifiable car, blown tyres and other debris Jody got an attack of hysterics and wobbled precariously along...
Along the way an interesting fact has been discovered, the shittier the town the more obscure the little blurb on its ‘Welcome to’ sign. So Helsby is the ‘Most improved Town in 99’, and Garstang in Lancashire is the world’s first fair trade town.
But more then this Garstang represented the target for the day, some 70 odd miles. IF all goes well tomorrow then the Scottish border might be reached, the sort of aim is Gretna Green. But to achieve this the highest climb yet will have to have not killed them, on leaving Windermere there is a much feared slog up Kirstone pass….. Then it would be loosely all downhill (ish) to Gretna Green.
So onwards and upwards to DAY 6
DAY 6
You know you’ve reached Scotland when……
1) You decide to sample Haggis
2) Your daily phone up-date is near on impossible due to noise in bar & effects of whisky
3) Everyone seems merrier then expected for a Thursday
Today was by far the nicest day, in terms of scenery at least. The Lake District, well known for being very beautiful, is indeed very beautiful. The only downside was the big, scary, evil Kirstone pass. But after a solid 50 min slog up, up, up the weary cyclists were soon to be found ensconced in the cosy pub at the top enjoying some mulled wine – audible sighs of relief all around.
Having decided to take it a little easier whilst in Chester Gretna Green was still reached, oh some 98 miles away? The definition of ‘easy’ is perhaps one someone ought to explain to Alex, Jody and Nick. Surely easier would have meant staying in said cosy pub, drinking gallons of wine and snoozing in front of a fire all afternoon?
Other news is Alex having to review his stance on ‘performance enhancing’ drugs, and indeed dismount of his proverbial horse…. Having joined Jody and Nick in the aching knee club he too has started popping pills.
All in a good day, beautiful scenery, mulled wine, drugs…. What’s not to love?
DAY 7
4 pints renders a daily update as intelligible as a noisy bar…… but the facts as recounted were:
90 miles cycled – from Gretna Green to Kilmarnock, approx. 15 miles South West of Glasgow.
First red squirrel sighted. Very lovely bushy red tail, rest squished flat.
Less civilisation then anticipated, just green rolling hills (up, up, up…..), eagles flying overhead and the sort of pubs where it is O.K. to leave your bike outside all along and unchained.
Al snagged his tights, very unhappy about subsequent ladder (alas, he had never heard of the nail varnish trick).
And a sad fact, the reason behind the 4 pints in fact; not being self-employed like Jody and Alex Nick has to return to work, so will be on a train heading home bright and early.
But morale remains good, with the two remaining cyclists opting to take a stiff upper lip stance on the whole thing – onwards and upwards you brave Christian, um, cyclists?
DAY 8
On day 8 Jody fell out with Scotland, as, and I quote (sort of), the roads were shit. Apparently it was like cycling along a road covered in braille….. Nope not sure I’ve ever cycled over braille before either. So, with braille besmirched roads to contend with it rather seemed that for some reason Scotland had taken it upon itself to wreak Jody’s bike….. The bike was buckled before they reached Paisley, which was bad…. But matters became a lot worse (as did the buckle) when a big hole was hit, so much so that the panniers broke. But the ever-useful duct tape once again proved to be man’s best friend in a moment of need.
The journey before lunch was abit dismal as the route was mainly through industrial areas and poor estates filled with depressing grey houses. But lunch was eaten on the banks of Loch Lomand, and, having decided to take it a little easier they then proceeded to sit happily in silence reading the papers and generally enjoying a little bit of a Saturday. The afternoon route was along the lake and into the hills and the Scottish highlands…… life was much prettier again. The evening really came up trumps though; a small log cabin, good food, watched some football game or other and then Match of the Day…… Ahhh.
DAY 9
The best way to sum up day 9 is this; on reaching the B&B in the evening Jody got off his bike, shook Alex’s hand and thanked him for the day (not actually sure I was meant to include that).
So anyway, having decided not to set an alarm as ‘we always wake up early’, Jody and Alex ended up having an accidental lie in, and did not end up leaving Crainlarich until 10:15. But rested and happy they had a fantastic day cycling through the incredibly dramatic Scottish highlands.
By lunch they were at Fort William where Jody was finally able to have his bike properly repaired. His falling out with Scotland was over. He also used this not-to-be-missed opportunity to buy more lycra; some pretty little booties (waterproof shoe covers apparently) and a fetching sash. Alex’s jealousy was clearly revealed in his unkind comment that Jody looked like a right spod. Rather charmingly Jody agreed that whoever is cycling behind will be allowed to wear the sash.
By the end of day 9, somewhere about 15 miles South of Inverness two things had been realised. 1, that it was the most beautiful day yet, and 2 THEY ONLY HAVE 130 MILES LEFT.
But rather then ruin the last day by pushing hard they will enjoy the highlands and take it slowly, with a view to getting to John O Groats on the 11th morning. This of course also means that instead of looking like stressed, sweaty messes in their finishing photos they can radiate cool, calm charm with a dashing of pure health in their matching lycra cat suits. Mmmmmm.
DAY 10
Sometimes it undoubtedly felt as though this day would never come. Sometimes it felt like the routine of wake up, cycle, cycle, and cycle then oh wait push hard and cycle a little more would never end. But here it is, day 10.
Today was another beautiful day, on leaving early in the morning the shores of Loch Ness were wreathed in fog, the sun was starting to burn through and that ‘last proper day’ feeling was rising. Rising that is until a bloody big hill rose up instead. The steepest yet. Shorter then the Kirstone pass but steeper, and harder. Coming so early, on the back of a large fry up it just felt unnecessarily hard. But two things happened to make it all better. The sun came out and for the first time since Cornwall jackets were discarded. And then Alex spotted a run over rabbit. Not so uncommon. Only this poor bunny had first suffered the injustice of being squished. And then the indignity of having it’s poor dead squished legs simply painted over with a neat white line to mark the road. These Scottish road maintenance crews are fearless.
Things took a slightly more worrying turn when they cycled into a small town called Pain for lunch. They were at first flattered, then rather perturbed to note that the usual shouts of encouragement from locals and children (often forthcoming in the small towns and villages) were today being accompanied by wolf whistles, wolf whistles which came from the lips of some 16 year old schoolboys. Well, if they will wear matching lycra….
After lunch the hilly nature of the highlands started to take its toll on their knees as they went up and down and up and down and up and, well, you get the idea.
And, having decided to take it easy, cycling maybe 80 odd miles a day they instead cycled another 98 miles today ending in Dunbeath. Tomorrow it will only be another 37 odd miles until John O Groats. A closer review of yesterday’s figure (130 miles left), the distance achieved today and the distance remaining reveals sums that don’t add up. The sad truth is though that the little wrong turns, extra distances to the recommended restaurant/pub/B&B all add up, and so they have already cycled 960 miles….. Having expected to cycle 936 ish. Ouch.
Tomorrow it will be up, out, onto bike and off for the last time…. 37 piddling miles to John o Groats. Apparently once there they will cab it the 20 extra miles to Thurso ready for the train home on Wednesday. However bets will be taken on them cycling those extra 20 miles, because as they’ve proved time and time again ‘taking it easy’ is not something they do nearly as well as cycling.
DAY 11
Finished!
AND REMEMBER;
- We are aiming to do it in 10 days
- That's nearly 100 miles a day
- We will be spending over 8 hours a day in the saddle
- That's a sore rear end!
First things first, Jody and I are no cyclists. We only bought our first adult bikes just over a month ago! This is a big big challenge make no mistake about it. If you have found yourself on this web page then it's because you or someone you know cares about making a change. Please please read on and understand exactly what we want to achieve - I WOULD PREFER 30 MINUTES OF YOUR TIME TO YOUR MONEY!
WHY??
My mother has suffered from M.E. for over 6 years now. I cannot explain how much it has affected not only the life of my mum but also me and the whole family. I want to raise awareness of how this illness affects people and families all around the world. Our objectives are:
- To raise awareness of ME / CFS (if you don't know about it - a beginners guide follows)
- To bring the illness into the public eye and to press for more attention to it in parliament
- To give a little money to ME research - performing research into the illness on a biomedical level.
To achieve the above we want you to send four letters. The templates for the letters follow so you don't have to worry about that. All you have to do is copy the text and paste it into a document, name and date them, print them off, sign them and address them then pop a stamp on and chuck it in a letter box. I'd love the cash too but if it's a case of either or - the letters are what I would rather.
Why am I asking for this?
Because I'm more than aware that I can't raise enough cash to make the big changes to this horrific illness. The best I think I can do is tell people and ask those people to tell people and then ask those people to tell the people who have the big cash - the government.
I want you to write to:
- Your local MP
- The chief medical officer
- The minister for health - Alan Johnson
- The prime minister - Gordon Brown
The letter templates follows along with links providing the names and addresses of those above.
About ME / CFS
This is a neurological illness causing a break down of the immune system and a whole host of varying symptoms. Sufferers experience different levels of severity. I can't speak for all sufferers but I can tell you about my mothers experience - the reason I am doing this!
My mother first experienced ME symptoms in 2000. She had not long recovered from Breast cancer and the resulting chemotherapy and radiotherapy. A sore throat led to the onset of ME / CFS - very often a small illness such as this is the only trigger required.
Through the last 7 years mums condition has worsened. She is now bed bound as she has been for the last three years. She is hypersensitive to light, sound and smell. She suffers swelling in her face, bouts of vertigo and constant tinitus. The use of any energy intensifies her symptoms and further worsens her conditions. She cannot watch TV, listen to the radio or read. Our conversations are limited to 10 minutes speaking in whispers. She has only seen her situation deteriorate over that time. Her muscles have wasted away. All solid food has to be blended as she cannot chew. All she has are her thoughts which are virtually constantly focused on her physical situation.
I am aware that her situation is not as bad as it could be. I am also aware that there is much she still has. However there is a chronic lack of understanding regarding this illness. A significant proportion of the little funding there is available goes towards psychological treatment of the illness - NOT biomedical treatment - despite the illness . This is like treating a cancer sufferer for how the illness makes them feel rather than giving them chemotherapy or radiotherapy.
There is presently a lobby taking the issue of ME to parliament. What I want to achieve is to makes the illness sound familiar to the MP's when they are in parliament. Hopefully if they receive a letter telling them a little about it - next time it's raised in the house of commons - they will tune in and take note.
An illness has to start somewhere. It needs to be recognised and it needs to become familiar, talked about before it can be researched at a level which will bring about the kind of progress in treatment like we have seen in cancer.
For further information on M.E.:
ME research
Action for ME
THE LETTERS:
1) Find your local MP here http://www.upmystreet.com/commons/l/
and write to them at
House of commons
London
SW1A 0AA
2) The minister for health
Rt Hon Alan Johnson MP
House of Commons
LONDON
SW1A 0AA
3) The chief medical officer
Sir Liam Donaldson, Chief Medical Officer
Department of Health
Room 114
Richmond House
79 Whitehall
London SW1A 2NS
4) The prime minister
Gordon Brown
10 Downing Street
London
SW1A 2AA
Please copy and paste the following ensuring you sign and date as appropriate:
Thanks so much for taking the time to read through this page. Please please take some time to send the letters and / or donate a bit of money. Telling people about this illness is the best way to find a treatment. Copy and paste the link for this page and send it to your contacts and really help make a difference
Donating through this site is simple, fast and totally secure. It is also the most efficient way to sponsor me: ME Research UK (ME Research Group For Education And Support, MERGE) will receive your money faster and, if you are a UK taxpayer, an extra 28% in tax will be added to your gift at no cost to you.
Many many thanks.
Alex
I’d just like to say a very big thanks to all who have supported us for this trip. Along the way we received countless messages and texts of support all of which helped us to keep going. We also got regular information on how the sponsorship was going which further increased our resolve to finish the task in hand.
As you will have seen, the level of sponsorship we have received is way beyond our expectations and for this, we are incredibly grateful.
Beyond this I really get the sense that lots more people now know about ME and this is what really can make the difference. An article went into the local paper about the ride but mostly focusing on the illness. I received a call today from the paper to tell me that they had a massive response to the article from many different people. The majority of the people who wrote were sufferers or families of sufferers thanking the paper for their accurate reporting of the illness.
The article can be found here
http://www.chestereveningleader.co.uk/news/Mother39s-ME-battle-inspires-Alex.3221146.jp
and examples of the response can be found here
http://www.eveningleader.co.uk/letters-views/Great-step-forward-in-ME.3229503.jp
http://www.eveningleader.co.uk/letters-views/Expert-intervention-well-overdue.3229516.jp
A joke which was made on several occasions during the trip was that we could have combined the money we spent on the trip and given it to charity. And yes we could, it would probably have been in the region of £2000 - £3000, not a bad sum. But when you see the likes of the articles above, you realise that money is no substitute for effort. The horrible reality of ME is that sufferers simply don’t have the energy to make a fuss about the illness, they can’t shout about it or tell others or worry about - it simply makes them feel worse.
So thanks to your support, people are hearing and learning about the illness and the sufferers of the illness. If you want to continue your support with minimal effort, perhaps consider taking the time out once a week to tell someone about it who doesn’t know.
Many many thanks
Alex Braun
Oh and the daily updates are still below, including an account of that last day - DAY 11!
AND WE ARE OFF......CYCLING FROM LANDS END TO JOHN O GROATSA DAILY ACCOUNT OF THE TRIP;
DAY 0
Arrived late in Penzance with the recognition that a) long train rides where the train stops alot and you can’t get drunk are not, in fact, all that entertaining. And b) spending your first night in a YHA dorm with at least 8 other men does not make your fellow cyclists happy.
DAY 1
The start to the day was always going to be a slightly annoying one as the first ten miles were going to be in the wrong direction heading from Penzance to Lands End. And the early indications of how the day might go during events experienced in the first mile left all feeling like maybe this whole thing was going to be an exercise in pain and frustration.
Left at 8am, not a useful time to be awake on a Saturday
At 0.17 miles Jody stung by a wasp
At 0.4 miles Nick had to ask for the first set of directions
But by 9:14 with the start photos at Lands End complete the ride started in earnest, with an aim to cycle 80 miles. By 14.08 lunch had been eaten and 50 miles had been peddled.
By the time Launceston was reached the following had been achieved; 110 miles - the length of Cornwall!
Incredibly tired but obviously very very happy the hunt for a bed was on, but as has happened so famously once before the first two inns were full, but at the third inn the kindly inn-keeper offered, well not a barn but a nice double bed (Alex and Nick to snuggle) and a little bed high up on a platform for Jody, who could happily retreat away from the smells below like an eagle in his eyrie…..
The evening proved not uneventful. With Nick’s back turned Alex popped the last piece of Nick’s chocolate left so temptingly nestled on the wrapper into his mouth. Sadly said chocolate was a little pebble Nick had picked up off the floor and it tasted like poo. A sniff test by Nick and Jody confirmed that Alex had indeed put a poo pebble in his mouth.
But a curry and two pints later (apparently two pints after 110 miles goes straight to your head, the sad truth of course is that two pints always go straight to Alex’s head) the happy campers retreated to sleep, ready and eager for Sunday morning and the start of Day 2.
DAY 2
Question: How many boys does it take to mend a puncture?
After a more successful first day then hoped for the targets for day 2 were maybe a little higher then was reasonable…. Especially as a late curry, two beers and a rather huge fry up had left all carrying just a touch more extra weight (and in some cases wind) then is perhaps advisable for ‘keen’ athletes…
09:45 set off feeling quite jolly with some good banter and joking, however this did have the adverse effect of less concentration on the cycling = less miles covered.
13:30 Lunch, a less then impressive Tesco’s sandwich and the realisation that small, rubbish English towns are indeed small and rubbish and quite depressing on a grey and quietly drizzling Sunday.
But despite this and also despite Alex’s aching bum the pace was picked up and by 17:00 Wellington had been reached, the planned stop for day 2. But the idea of spending that much time in Wellington meant the decision was made to push on the extra 24 miles to Glastonbury. However a quick call ahead (having learnt from the less then successful ‘just turn up and see’ tactic of the night before) revealed that tonight is the night of the equinox and Glastonbury is rammed. The words ‘damm hippies’ were uttered and a B&B was booked in Taunton.
In all the second day was another good day with 80 miles duly ticked off the list. Other noteworthy events were….
1) Nick had the first puncture of the trip (answer: Two, Jody had a fag)
2) Nick bought his first toothbrush
3) All three have chapped bums, now smeared in dollops of the age old Nursing Home stalwart, sudocream.
DAY 3
After the finest Travel Lodge breakfast possible (hmmm) the day started at 08:00. The roads were quite flat and a good average speed was maintained whilst heading with just a little trepidation towards ‘the big hill after Glastonbury.’ Right on day 1 Jody had been banned from reading the guide book as the descriptions of certain stretches and/or hilly bits meant said hills were being fearfully anticipated. But in the end the Glastonbury hill was a doddle and by 10:30 30 miles had been completed including said hill. Which, by the way, was not in fact a doddle but doable at least.
Lunch was enjoyed in scenic Bath and the world was a happy place.
But during lunch it started to get more cold and blustery with a light drizzle and after lunch the general pace slowed and all started feeling a touch frazzled. A swift sighting of Kathryn and Nick’s parents-in-law in a car park near Castle Coombe helped life spirits and by the end of the day (in Ledbury) 110 miles had been done – despite the lowest morale to date!
Other noteworthy news items:
On the way from Taunton to Ledbury the route took in Somerset, Avon, Wiltshire, and Gloucestershire and ended in Herefordshire.
At 260 Miles Jody got the second puncture (the answer this time would be 3).
Alex’s bum is so bruised as to be raw and close to bleeding.
Jody’s thighs and also bum were sore as hell.
Nick survived, but with the suspicion that his bum pain was being diverted by his more pressing neck pain
Another long day tomorrow, 110 miles, but with the view to being home in Chester with the promise of own beds, fresh pants and perhaps even a change of socks. Well for Alex and Jody anyway, the motivating factor for Nick is, um, Alex's spare bed??
DAY 4 – Home sweet sweet sweet home!!
“Up down up down ow ow ow up down, my bum hurts, aren’t they pretty fields, ahh the fresh air, there’s Jody’s arse I wonder if that hurts as much as mine, pedal, how fast am I going, what’s my name, ow ow ow, my neck, if we keep this up we can have a pint by 8, how far to Scotland?”
That’s just a little insight into the innermost workings of my brain during this journey.
So tonight we’re staying in the B&B of the gods, the angles are singing, we are in Chester and that means home!
I think you’ll agree that my lovely PA (amazing how cheaply you can get ‘em on the internet these days) has done a fine job making some sense of my fatigued warblings down the phone at the end of each day but tonight, for one night only, you get said warblings straight from the horse’s mouth…….
Oh to be a horse, or a sheep, or a car – anything not to be a bike or on one or even associated with the damn things. Alas that is not the case and come the morning I shall be firmly relocated in the saddle and ready to press on through the splendid example of man’s harmony with nature that is Runcorn!
I have had the odd moment or two to consider at this point what I might have to say regarding the journey. And, as you can see from above, I think I could probably ramble on about all sorts that come to mind during 10 hours spent on a seat no bigger than Barbie’s bed.
When I was a child I seem to remember that doing things for sponsorship was common but it had a different meaning. Inevitably you would be doing something per mile, hour, water bomb, egg – whatever it was at the time and you would be given pledges rather than hard cash. Only after doing said task successfully would you then begin the tedious process of collecting the cash. These days things seem to be different, I guess with the advent of the likes of this justgiving site but probably more likely with the coming of the adult years. Adults are bad at failing and consequently only tend to do stuff they can succeed at. When they say they will do something they generally do it. The effect of this is that when an adult says they will be doing something for charity you pretty much know you’re going to be parting with your cash. However, from those childhood days I remain a believer that fundraising should have an element doubt to it, a real feel of challenge about it.
With this ride, I thought that given enough training – it’d be fine. No probs. After all, loads of people do Lands End to John O Groats on a bike. Easy, easy, easy (cue wrestling stylee hand claps above head). Well NO. It’s tough. REALLY REALLY TOUGH. I’m not saying that we won’t do it. We will. We will do it, but by god it’s testing. It tests not only the body but the mind.
Imagine when you get to work tomorrow morning (about 8 – 8.30 for most of you I expect), then imagine getting on a bike. Then when you get home, when you’ve had that cuppa when you get in, when you’ve made your dinner and then when you’ve eaten it (leave the plates on the side, they can wait)….. then and only then consider getting off the imaginary bike. Along with that imagine hitting hill after hill, being hit by fly after fly (occasionally in the eye), wind, rain, punctures, other bike problems, bum directions….. Then think about trying to find somewhere to stay for the night. Well that’s our day. For 4 days so far (give or take) and for at least another 6. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that, I’m just making the point that we’re putting ourselves through a hell of a lot and that’s why it’s important to feel that we’ve done something to raise the profile of M.E.
So enough of all that. Day 4 is to be filed along with the others in the ‘pretty difficult’ folder. Notable events? Yeah a few, the best being Nick getting a wasp trapped in his helmet, but frankly, I hear a bath calling my name and the wafts of eucalyptus urging me to ease between the crisp bed sheets and sleep like baby - or the dead, depending.
By the way, there are some photos of our trip so far on Facebook, it's an open group so have a look - Cycling from LAND END to JOHN O GROATS for M.E. Charity
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=56382&l=6145a&id=551845297
DAY 5
Scientific fact: There are 2 types of flies that seem hell bent on attacking errant cyclists; the first are the tiny little ones that get stuck in the corner of your eyes and look like black eye poo, the second are those big, hairy ones that dive-bomb painfully off your eyeball.
But first, Nick had decided to sleep at his Mum and Dad’s so by the very leisurely start of day 5 everyone had enjoyed the comforts of home and spirits were high, some might say jaunty even.
The 09:30 meeting at the bike shop proved to be not only the required stop for Jody to have his bike serviced, but Alex and Nick flashed the plastic and added some more fetching items to their wardrobes. Alex had long hankered after leg-warmers just as fine as Jody’s, but was saddened to note his fellow cyclists were subsequently mocking him, it seems his legs are rather delicate and ballerina like once encased in shiny shiny black lycra.
After leaving the comforts of Chester the decision was made to stop at the Kennels, on approach however Alex had a big fly bounce directly off his eyeball. The realisation that said fly had probably been enjoying dog poo for most of it’s happy little life did nothing to improve matters.
But they soldiered on bravely to Frodsham (ooh some 8 miles away??) where Nick ate 2 sausage roles. Life was still nice….. And then the trek to Runcorn began. The holy book deemed a route which took in the expressway, dual carriage way and Frodsham bridge. The best way to highlight just how terrible this route is is the complete absence of road kill. No animal, no matter how daft, ventures along this path…. So with big lorry’s trundling past honking, dodging rusty bits of unidentifiable car, blown tyres and other debris Jody got an attack of hysterics and wobbled precariously along...
Along the way an interesting fact has been discovered, the shittier the town the more obscure the little blurb on its ‘Welcome to’ sign. So Helsby is the ‘Most improved Town in 99’, and Garstang in Lancashire is the world’s first fair trade town.
But more then this Garstang represented the target for the day, some 70 odd miles. IF all goes well tomorrow then the Scottish border might be reached, the sort of aim is Gretna Green. But to achieve this the highest climb yet will have to have not killed them, on leaving Windermere there is a much feared slog up Kirstone pass….. Then it would be loosely all downhill (ish) to Gretna Green.
So onwards and upwards to DAY 6
DAY 6
You know you’ve reached Scotland when……
1) You decide to sample Haggis
2) Your daily phone up-date is near on impossible due to noise in bar & effects of whisky
3) Everyone seems merrier then expected for a Thursday
Today was by far the nicest day, in terms of scenery at least. The Lake District, well known for being very beautiful, is indeed very beautiful. The only downside was the big, scary, evil Kirstone pass. But after a solid 50 min slog up, up, up the weary cyclists were soon to be found ensconced in the cosy pub at the top enjoying some mulled wine – audible sighs of relief all around.
Having decided to take it a little easier whilst in Chester Gretna Green was still reached, oh some 98 miles away? The definition of ‘easy’ is perhaps one someone ought to explain to Alex, Jody and Nick. Surely easier would have meant staying in said cosy pub, drinking gallons of wine and snoozing in front of a fire all afternoon?
Other news is Alex having to review his stance on ‘performance enhancing’ drugs, and indeed dismount of his proverbial horse…. Having joined Jody and Nick in the aching knee club he too has started popping pills.
All in a good day, beautiful scenery, mulled wine, drugs…. What’s not to love?
DAY 7
4 pints renders a daily update as intelligible as a noisy bar…… but the facts as recounted were:
90 miles cycled – from Gretna Green to Kilmarnock, approx. 15 miles South West of Glasgow.
First red squirrel sighted. Very lovely bushy red tail, rest squished flat.
Less civilisation then anticipated, just green rolling hills (up, up, up…..), eagles flying overhead and the sort of pubs where it is O.K. to leave your bike outside all along and unchained.
Al snagged his tights, very unhappy about subsequent ladder (alas, he had never heard of the nail varnish trick).
And a sad fact, the reason behind the 4 pints in fact; not being self-employed like Jody and Alex Nick has to return to work, so will be on a train heading home bright and early.
But morale remains good, with the two remaining cyclists opting to take a stiff upper lip stance on the whole thing – onwards and upwards you brave Christian, um, cyclists?
DAY 8
On day 8 Jody fell out with Scotland, as, and I quote (sort of), the roads were shit. Apparently it was like cycling along a road covered in braille….. Nope not sure I’ve ever cycled over braille before either. So, with braille besmirched roads to contend with it rather seemed that for some reason Scotland had taken it upon itself to wreak Jody’s bike….. The bike was buckled before they reached Paisley, which was bad…. But matters became a lot worse (as did the buckle) when a big hole was hit, so much so that the panniers broke. But the ever-useful duct tape once again proved to be man’s best friend in a moment of need.
The journey before lunch was abit dismal as the route was mainly through industrial areas and poor estates filled with depressing grey houses. But lunch was eaten on the banks of Loch Lomand, and, having decided to take it a little easier they then proceeded to sit happily in silence reading the papers and generally enjoying a little bit of a Saturday. The afternoon route was along the lake and into the hills and the Scottish highlands…… life was much prettier again. The evening really came up trumps though; a small log cabin, good food, watched some football game or other and then Match of the Day…… Ahhh.
DAY 9
The best way to sum up day 9 is this; on reaching the B&B in the evening Jody got off his bike, shook Alex’s hand and thanked him for the day (not actually sure I was meant to include that).
So anyway, having decided not to set an alarm as ‘we always wake up early’, Jody and Alex ended up having an accidental lie in, and did not end up leaving Crainlarich until 10:15. But rested and happy they had a fantastic day cycling through the incredibly dramatic Scottish highlands.
By lunch they were at Fort William where Jody was finally able to have his bike properly repaired. His falling out with Scotland was over. He also used this not-to-be-missed opportunity to buy more lycra; some pretty little booties (waterproof shoe covers apparently) and a fetching sash. Alex’s jealousy was clearly revealed in his unkind comment that Jody looked like a right spod. Rather charmingly Jody agreed that whoever is cycling behind will be allowed to wear the sash.
By the end of day 9, somewhere about 15 miles South of Inverness two things had been realised. 1, that it was the most beautiful day yet, and 2 THEY ONLY HAVE 130 MILES LEFT.
But rather then ruin the last day by pushing hard they will enjoy the highlands and take it slowly, with a view to getting to John O Groats on the 11th morning. This of course also means that instead of looking like stressed, sweaty messes in their finishing photos they can radiate cool, calm charm with a dashing of pure health in their matching lycra cat suits. Mmmmmm.
DAY 10
Sometimes it undoubtedly felt as though this day would never come. Sometimes it felt like the routine of wake up, cycle, cycle, and cycle then oh wait push hard and cycle a little more would never end. But here it is, day 10.
Today was another beautiful day, on leaving early in the morning the shores of Loch Ness were wreathed in fog, the sun was starting to burn through and that ‘last proper day’ feeling was rising. Rising that is until a bloody big hill rose up instead. The steepest yet. Shorter then the Kirstone pass but steeper, and harder. Coming so early, on the back of a large fry up it just felt unnecessarily hard. But two things happened to make it all better. The sun came out and for the first time since Cornwall jackets were discarded. And then Alex spotted a run over rabbit. Not so uncommon. Only this poor bunny had first suffered the injustice of being squished. And then the indignity of having it’s poor dead squished legs simply painted over with a neat white line to mark the road. These Scottish road maintenance crews are fearless.
Things took a slightly more worrying turn when they cycled into a small town called Pain for lunch. They were at first flattered, then rather perturbed to note that the usual shouts of encouragement from locals and children (often forthcoming in the small towns and villages) were today being accompanied by wolf whistles, wolf whistles which came from the lips of some 16 year old schoolboys. Well, if they will wear matching lycra….
After lunch the hilly nature of the highlands started to take its toll on their knees as they went up and down and up and down and up and, well, you get the idea.
And, having decided to take it easy, cycling maybe 80 odd miles a day they instead cycled another 98 miles today ending in Dunbeath. Tomorrow it will only be another 37 odd miles until John O Groats. A closer review of yesterday’s figure (130 miles left), the distance achieved today and the distance remaining reveals sums that don’t add up. The sad truth is though that the little wrong turns, extra distances to the recommended restaurant/pub/B&B all add up, and so they have already cycled 960 miles….. Having expected to cycle 936 ish. Ouch.
Tomorrow it will be up, out, onto bike and off for the last time…. 37 piddling miles to John o Groats. Apparently once there they will cab it the 20 extra miles to Thurso ready for the train home on Wednesday. However bets will be taken on them cycling those extra 20 miles, because as they’ve proved time and time again ‘taking it easy’ is not something they do nearly as well as cycling.
DAY 11
Finished!
We stopped 40 miles short of John O Groats on day 10, knowing that pushing it to finish would have meant we would have arrived tired, with nowhere to stay and very grouchy.
So after a hearty breakfast cooked by our lovely Scottish host, Mary, we hoped into the saddles for one last time with passion and energy. Jody’s words to me on leaving were; ‘Al, we’re not going to fast straight away, my knees are killing me’
'S’ok Jo, mine too’
10 minutes later and we’re cruising along at 20mph, a crisp bright morning with a real sense of the finishing line fast approaching. In no time we cover the 18 miles to Wick where we stop to top up our Lucozade reserves. With such a successful last hour under our belt we’re eager to get to it and finish thing off but we’re still well aware that a sudden spate of hills could disrupt our rhythm and really make things tricky in the home strait.
6 miles into the remaining 18 and we’re back at 20mph, the final tip of land is in the distance and frankly we’re too close now to let anything spoil our progress. The wind is rushing through our helmets and Freddie is telling me I’m like a rocket ship on the way to mars… that’s right Fred, don’t stop me now!
We race down the hill and the line is in sight there’s people clapping and union jacks waving, we cross the line and fireworks burst into life in the harbour…….I wake from another cycling day dream and pass the sign indicating we’ve entered John O Groats village. Do we celebrate now? No surely not yet – there’s must be a finish line, after all there was a starting line. The road splits – do we follow the harbour or the car park. We cut across the car park. Still no finish line but we do spot the sign with the distances on it (except there aren’t any because it’s a tourist gimmick which you have to pay for to have your house displayed on it or whatever). We stop at the post and have a clumsy manly hug and in that very English way say thanks to each other. An old couple walk by as if nothing has happened. The postie takes another drag of his fag and turns the page of his paper. Then we spot the actual finish line out of the the corner of our eye so head over and do the proper finish. Not quite the dramatic and celebratory finish we had in mind.
In a strange way it was nice like that. We’d spent so much time on the bikes, a few metres doesn’t really matter. In fact we’d managed to add at least 40 miles onto the suggested route somehow. The point was that we’d finished. We’d cycled the length of Britain!
AND REMEMBER;
- We are aiming to do it in 10 days
- That's nearly 100 miles a day
- We will be spending over 8 hours a day in the saddle
- That's a sore rear end!
First things first, Jody and I are no cyclists. We only bought our first adult bikes just over a month ago! This is a big big challenge make no mistake about it. If you have found yourself on this web page then it's because you or someone you know cares about making a change. Please please read on and understand exactly what we want to achieve - I WOULD PREFER 30 MINUTES OF YOUR TIME TO YOUR MONEY!
WHY??
My mother has suffered from M.E. for over 6 years now. I cannot explain how much it has affected not only the life of my mum but also me and the whole family. I want to raise awareness of how this illness affects people and families all around the world. Our objectives are:
- To raise awareness of ME / CFS (if you don't know about it - a beginners guide follows)
- To bring the illness into the public eye and to press for more attention to it in parliament
- To give a little money to ME research - performing research into the illness on a biomedical level.
To achieve the above we want you to send four letters. The templates for the letters follow so you don't have to worry about that. All you have to do is copy the text and paste it into a document, name and date them, print them off, sign them and address them then pop a stamp on and chuck it in a letter box. I'd love the cash too but if it's a case of either or - the letters are what I would rather.
Why am I asking for this?
Because I'm more than aware that I can't raise enough cash to make the big changes to this horrific illness. The best I think I can do is tell people and ask those people to tell people and then ask those people to tell the people who have the big cash - the government.
I want you to write to:
- Your local MP
- The chief medical officer
- The minister for health - Alan Johnson
- The prime minister - Gordon Brown
The letter templates follows along with links providing the names and addresses of those above.
About ME / CFS
This is a neurological illness causing a break down of the immune system and a whole host of varying symptoms. Sufferers experience different levels of severity. I can't speak for all sufferers but I can tell you about my mothers experience - the reason I am doing this!
My mother first experienced ME symptoms in 2000. She had not long recovered from Breast cancer and the resulting chemotherapy and radiotherapy. A sore throat led to the onset of ME / CFS - very often a small illness such as this is the only trigger required.
Through the last 7 years mums condition has worsened. She is now bed bound as she has been for the last three years. She is hypersensitive to light, sound and smell. She suffers swelling in her face, bouts of vertigo and constant tinitus. The use of any energy intensifies her symptoms and further worsens her conditions. She cannot watch TV, listen to the radio or read. Our conversations are limited to 10 minutes speaking in whispers. She has only seen her situation deteriorate over that time. Her muscles have wasted away. All solid food has to be blended as she cannot chew. All she has are her thoughts which are virtually constantly focused on her physical situation.
I am aware that her situation is not as bad as it could be. I am also aware that there is much she still has. However there is a chronic lack of understanding regarding this illness. A significant proportion of the little funding there is available goes towards psychological treatment of the illness - NOT biomedical treatment - despite the illness . This is like treating a cancer sufferer for how the illness makes them feel rather than giving them chemotherapy or radiotherapy.
There is presently a lobby taking the issue of ME to parliament. What I want to achieve is to makes the illness sound familiar to the MP's when they are in parliament. Hopefully if they receive a letter telling them a little about it - next time it's raised in the house of commons - they will tune in and take note.
An illness has to start somewhere. It needs to be recognised and it needs to become familiar, talked about before it can be researched at a level which will bring about the kind of progress in treatment like we have seen in cancer.
For further information on M.E.:
ME research
Action for ME
THE LETTERS:
1) Find your local MP here http://www.upmystreet.com/commons/l/
and write to them at
House of commons
London
SW1A 0AA
2) The minister for health
Rt Hon Alan Johnson MP
House of Commons
LONDON
SW1A 0AA
3) The chief medical officer
Sir Liam Donaldson, Chief Medical Officer
Department of Health
Room 114
Richmond House
79 Whitehall
London SW1A 2NS
4) The prime minister
Gordon Brown
10 Downing Street
London
SW1A 2AA
Please copy and paste the following ensuring you sign and date as appropriate:
Dear Sir / Madam
I am writing to you concerning the severe and debilitating illness of M.E., or CFS as it is sometimes also known.
As you may be aware, M.E.(Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/ Encephalopathy) is a chronic, fluctuating illness. It is also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). Sometimes it is diagnosed as Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome (PVFS). The illness affects many parts of the body, such as the nervous and immune systems. The most common symptoms are severe fatigue or exhaustion, problems with memory and concentration and muscle pain.
It is an illness about which little is known and a consistent form of treatment has not yet been identified. Sufferers endure a number of varying symptoms which gradually weaken the patient dramatically reducing their independence and quality of life. Many of the most severe cases leave the patient not being able to communicate verbally, not being able to eat solids or to see to basic toileting needs alone. With no prognosis available, and scepticism to the illness itself still common within the medical profession, the outlook for the patient and family is usually bleak, isolated, daunting and at times hopeless.
The World Health Organisation has confirmed that the illness is neurological but as yet this is still not accepted within the Health Service in . The limited funds which are being made available for this debilitating illness are being directed towards psychological treatment, instead of being directed towards biomedical research which would enable a greater understanding of the illness and a more reliable and consistent method for treatment. Due to this, many patients are being subjected to emotionally traumatising psychological examinations on top of the physical symptoms already being endured. This process simply doesn’t make sense; it is like treating a cancer sufferer for how the illness makes them feel rather than giving them the treatment they require in order to make a recovery.
I ask you to be aware of the suffering experienced by these hundreds of thousands of people and their families in our country. I would like you to concur with the WHO’s classification of this illness as a neurological disease and I would like you to give your full support for greater funds to be made available for biomedical research, in short I ask you to lend your voice to help foster a significant change in the approach to M.E.
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read through this page. Please please take some time to send the letters and / or donate a bit of money. Telling people about this illness is the best way to find a treatment. Copy and paste the link for this page and send it to your contacts and really help make a difference
Donating through this site is simple, fast and totally secure. It is also the most efficient way to sponsor me: ME Research UK (ME Research Group For Education And Support, MERGE) will receive your money faster and, if you are a UK taxpayer, an extra 28% in tax will be added to your gift at no cost to you.
Many many thanks.
Alex