Tally ho, zippety-zap and zing-zang spirit!!!  (In English that's hello...)

Welcome my dear financially well-endowed friends, family, regimental wags and those dim-witted bumpkins we just can't seem to shake.

Sit ye down and pull up a legacy...I mean chair and listen to my donation...did I say donation?...er, I meant notion of supreme madness and sublime loonacy that'll have you reaching for a bucket...and then hopefully your wallets. 

This is the virtual Regimental HQ of the virtual 1st (and last!) Battalion Eton Rifles, which was recently formed one lunch time near the duck pond in St. James' Park in the very shadow of New Scotland Yard by the very unfit men above, in response to a call to alms (see what I did there..very clever).

Many people already know the personal struggle I went through in dealing with testicular cancer two years ago, but only those who were close to me will know that beating it was only possible with help, love and support of a diverse network of friends and family who seem to be fighting it with me side by side.

At the time, I vowed I would be back to take the loonacy to another level and line up an appropriate "suffer-fest" to test mind and body once again.  Only this time, I've decided to share my pain with other stout yeomen, who have foolish volunteered to go "over the top" with me.  These are hand-picked chosen men from SB's highly-regarded and much-feared Drinking Team, Captian Richard "Darling" Timson, General Billy "Melchett" Boyd and Captain Steve "Blackadder" Bass.

So you may ask...what is this new form of self-flagellation?  Well, they call it the Para's 10 and put quite simply it's a ten mile run.  A bijou strollette in St.James' Mr MacKay-Lear a hear you cry!!  However, this ten mile's will be set on the infamous Parachute Regiments 'P' Company Selection Course, which is a blistering tab up hill and down dale at the Army's training centre near Catterick in Yorks.

In addition, we are expected to carry a 35lb bergen rucksack (weighed before and after, so my cunning little trick of filling it with water and letting it out as you go put an end to that damn fine plan) and wear army boots.

Oh and did I mention the time to beat is 1hr 50mins to make Para selection?  Although, with the way things are going, we don't want to do too well and find a very large recruiting sergeant waiting to sign us up as we cross the finishing line, so 1hr 51 mins seems fine to me!   

Now the serious bit...Naturally, we wanted to do all of the above for charity and with this being a military event, we could think of none better than Help for Heroes.

The war in Afghanistan is suddenly front page news.  The casualties over the last couple of weeks have made it topic of the moment.  That, at last, will focus people's minds and make them think about the issues our soldiers have to deal with every day.

The lives of the families of those who die will never be the same and the loss of a loved one will leave a gap that will never be filled.  That loss will be felt forever.

The lives of the wounded and their relatives too will change.  The minor injuries are just a set back physically but inevitiably they will leave mental scars.  The very seriously injured have to face the rest of their lives with their disabilities and so will their families.

Today the war is front page news, tomorrow it is old news and the void will be filled instead with some pointless "celeb" tattle about nothing of any real relevance.  For those who are affected, killed, wounded and their families, for those who are fighting, for those who are left behind, they cannot turn the page and will have to live with the consequences.

Although I have my own special connection to the Armed Forces, there are many of us from the "Civilian Army" who want to do their bit and show they care.  It's a wonderful thing.

So, now it's up to you.  It's astonishingly simple.  We train (running from pub to pub is a start!), you give money, we put ourselves on the line for a paltry 2 hrs or so (nothing compared to our troops and certainly nothing that a Bovril and a shower can't fix) and we raise money to help those who have put their lives on the line defending the liberties that we and other nations hold so dear and take for granted every day!! 

Thanks muchly.  Now dust the cobwebbs off your wallets and start giving.  That's an order!!

Greg 

Now please read the attached official bumff below....cure for insomia

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