It takes guts

“You’ve got UlcerativeColitis (UC).  It’s a lifelong disease. There’s no cure. You’ll be on medication for life. There is a greater risk of developing cancer.”

I am one of 300,000 people in the UK with an Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD). My immune system doesn’t work properly. My body starts attacking itself, causing ulcers and inflammation in the gut.

Aside from coming to terms with the fact there is no known cure for UC, what I have personally found tough, as every case of IBD is different, is that it’s an invisible and unpredictable illness. And it’s affected my whole body, not just my bowel.

The gut is like your body’s second brain, so when it goes wrong, it can affect every aspect of your life - from your hormones and digestion, to your energy levels and mental health.

Forced to make a change

Let’s face it we all hate being forced to do something but sometimes you have no choice!

I’ve had to think about what, when and where I eat. For someone that loves food and eating out, I have struggled with this. I understand that food does not cause my illness, however control of my diet can help to manage symptoms.

I can sometimes be anxious about taking long journeys and worry about cleanliness of public toilets. This can and has stopped me from going on adventures that I previously wouldn’t have given a second thought about.

I spend the majority of the day looking at a computer screen so having to endure headaches and dry tender eyes symptoms has become a new skillset of mine.

Being judged as lazy if I slow down in a spin class, struggle to remember things at work or don’t have the energy to do the housework is an unpleasant feeling for me. My mental state of mind takes a battering and I often find myself down.

I have found I experience fatigue regardless of how much rest or sleep I get. Again, my mental health is tested. I find myself turning down nights out as I know a late event will wipe me out for days. This has however made me fall in love with early morning exercise classes!

Accepting myself that I am not able or may not be able to do the things I used to has been tough. Others not understanding that I don’t want to do the things I used to enjoy doing with them anymore has been hard to communicate too.

I have been eccedentesiast since I have been diagnosed. It’s been easier to hide my sadness and pain behind a smile.

Looking back to see how far I’ve come

One year on, after being diagnosed with UC, I decided to put that ‘shit’ in the past and look to the future.

I have set myself a personal goal every month of 2019 to ‘try something new’.

In May 2017, I decided to take on the challenge of ‘outrunning cancer’ for Macmillan Cancer Support. The goal: 30-80 miles to raise £204 [how much it costs to fund a Macmillan nurse for a day] to help to change the lives of people affected by cancer. This meant running at least 2 miles per day for 31 days. So, I first ran the Bayer 10k [now Roc 10k] route in just over an hour at the end of this challenge. I struggled and vowed never to run this route again. At this time, I didn’t know that I wouldn’t physically be well enough to run this route in 2018.

From December 2017 to February 2018 I became sicker and sicker and with that came the weight loss. Not only was I losing my excess fat [I had a thigh gap for the first time ever], I was losing my hard-earned muscle. I was devastated.

I kept asking my consultant: “when can I get back to the gym?”

Once the steroids kicked in and my bloods showed an improvement in nutrients, I began the slow process of getting my body back into working out.

I now not only feel well enough, but thanks to bstfitness Newbury, West Berks White Collar Boxing, parkrun Newbury, Hi-5 Runners and Zak Elliott PT, I feel strong enough both mentally and physically, to take on a challenge again.

Living with UC is not a ‘try something new’ anyone would choose; however, it has given me a different perspective and a drive to try something again. I have entered the Roc 10k May 2019, a route that I said I would never run again! This time I will be running for a charity close to my heart [well, butt actually]. I am lucky that I am able to consider running any distance. For many suffering with IBD this is not an option. To even wave me off at the start would be a challenge for many. I hope the money I can raise will help to continue research into new treatments to improve quality of life and eventually find a cure.

I’d like to ask two things of you…

please donate 100 of your shiniest pennies to me for Crohn’s and Colitis UK

‘try something new’ for you too.