When told I was planning to run the London marathon, lots of people asked me why. It's a really good question for a non-running, non-exercising, recently ex-smoker with an aversion to exertion and a penchant for vertiginous heels. The truth is I had ghosts to exorcise.... One of my early memories sees me pressed up against a steel marathon barrier, aged five, looking not at the race but forlornly up into the sky at my rapidly escaping helium balloon. I remember the feeling of desolation amongst all the noise and mourning its loss with hot, silent tears. Twenty something years later I fought the same tears for the last few miles of the 2010 London marathon.
I didn't feel despair and I never questioned whether I would make it, but at about mile 22/23 there seemed to be nothing left. Those of you who have fixed on a physical challenge and dug deep to reach it will recognise that emptiness. The void you reach when all your reserves appear already to have been spent. It is small, quiet grief and there is nothing else like it. It is here that you start to run on determination and sheer bloody-mindedness. As the Tower of London wobbled vaguely in the left of my vision I realised that I couldn't cry and breath and run all at the same time and as breathing is pretty essential to running, the crying was going to have to stop. 'This will just have to wait' I remember thinking, 'right now you are running, putting one foot in front of the other, later you can cry all you want'. So that's what I did, for about four miles and, like my five year old self, it felt like a pretty lonely endeavour even surrounded by all the noise and joy and encouragement of the supporting crowds; ultimately this is really what the marathon is about - you against yourself.
So that was the last four miles - what about the first twenty or so (this kind if sentence still makes me smile - ' first twenty miles'?/!!!). There are lots of slices of the day that have been coming back to me this last week.... The foot high pile of banana skins on top of every bin between Greenwich station and the start of the race, soaring over tower Bridge bursting with patriotic pride to the strains of the British Airways theme tune, the bone bouncing drum beats of taiko drums under an Isle of Dogs bridge, a woolly brown water spaniel barking excitedly and repeatedly at a SPANA charity runner dressed as an incredibly realistic donkey, dancing through the on-course showers to a remix of 'Singing in the rain', a pub full of cheering pirates brandishing swords, running through the towers of Canary wharf thronging with people and bathed in sunshine, drinking champagne with friends and their little ones at the end of a VERY long day, watching my parents bust with pride and, above all, that last 385 yards. Giving in and crying and running and digging, digging, digging.
It was a deeply moving, humbling experience and everything I hoped it would be. I know I have said it before but the support of friends and family, colleagues old and new, really helped to get me through the training and round that course, so thank you. On top of all that I have personally gained we have, between us, raised a considerable amount for a charity which benefits the men and women of the British Armed Forces who daily make enormous sacrifices for your and my freedom. If you haven't managed to sponsor me yet, please do so - it is so quick and easy. If you know someone who might like to give but hasn't yet, please forward my link on www.justgiving.com/gghmarathon and if you'd like to give again, please don't hesitate.
From the bottom of my rather tired but completely chuffed heart, thank you.
27 April update: On Sunday I ran the marathon in 5 hours 35 minutes and 31 seconds. My aim was just to complete the 26 miles and 385 yards and I trained for a 5 1/2 hour race so I am chuffed to bits. The support of my friends and family, financial and emotional, was a huge spur during my training and on the day, so thank you all. Memories of my day will be posted shortly, so do check back and if you like what you read, you can always give again!
16 April update: Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page. You will be able to see that due to the generosity of friends and family, I have already reached my target which is amazing - thank you all! BUT PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE if this is your first visit please still give as generously as you can to this deserving charity. My target is the minimum I needed to raise and it would be great to trump it royally.... Now here's why I am doing it....
I love the London Marathon. For me it is the best of British in one day.
It's thousands of people going through hell over 26 miles after months of training in the wet and the dark of an English winter; it's the millions of pounds earned for charity; it's thousands of non-runners who come out onto the streets and spend their day shouting out the names of runner after runner to encourage and support them; it's a triumph of the spirit... I think it's amazing.
So on 25 April 2010, I finally plan to be part of it. And I will be running for the British Forces Foundation.
I couldn't do what those boys and girls do in places like Afghanistan and Iraq and I'm overawed and inspired by the sort of sacrifices they are prepared to make for their Queen and country. Even when they come home safe and sound, there's really no way of understanding what they have been through.
The British Forces Foundation raises funds to try and make the lives of the men and women of the British Forces in battle, a little easier. A little lighter. It is comedy and music and inspiration when it is needed most. I think it is critical. I hope you will agree and offer whatever support you can.
.....And if that doesn't float your boat and you know me well, you'll know that me and exercise have been strangers since I left school many moons ago. That is until the last few months. It has been a major challenge for me and it is only when I finished a 17 mile run a few weeks back did it really sink in that I am actually going to be running in the London Marathon this year. A long held dream and a surprise to many including myself.
Your generous support means that I can hold my professional fundraising head up high and present the British Forces Foundation with a big fat cheque post-marathon. Please give you all you can. Justgiving is completely safe and secure, but if you'd rather give via cheque or cash - I can do that too, just let me know via the usual channels.
Thank you!
