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Total raised so far including this money on here is £6,837.10 with some more cash donations waiting to be paid in!!
Kimberley Samantha Trickett was my very brave, caring, strong and inspirational daughter. I say was, because as you will know by now, she has recently passed away. To be honest it does'nt look or sound right to say "was" because Kim will always be my daughter and is very much alive in me and my memories.
As you can see, she was very beautiful (must get that from me???) but anyone who knew Kim would tell you that she was also beautiful on the inside too. She had cancer 4 times in her too short life, she never moaned or complained and always just wanted to be "normal".
Kim sadly passed away at the age of nearly 21 at Ashgate Hospice, Chesterfield after being there for 5 and a half weeks.
Kimberley was doing her Masters Degree In Nursing (Kim was to be a childrens nurse) at Nottingham University and her times there were most definately some of the best of her life! Kim loved her course and she made some amazing new friends who have proved to be very true, loyal and long lasting. They came over to visit at the hospice on a regular basis and are still offering great comfort to me personally.
Kim had a lot of friends, Hannah, Kims best friend will always have a special place in my heart as the nicest best friend my daughter could have had. Becki Linekar, Kims very close friend, who again, will always mean so very much to me. They both came to visit all the time and went on our emotional roller coaster journey of turmoil with us. Thanks for the cakes Becks, Im sure I'll be thin one day! Not! got to mention Abi, Tom and Emma (cuddles) Nicola and Charlotte who again all came to visit when Kim was poorly, which I know cannot have been easy.
Please feel free to check both mine and Kims facebook pages where we have other groups running that you can join and see loads more pictures and other fund raising things we are doing. Mine is Tracie Holocuk and Kim's is Kim Trickett. Also we have groups running on face book. Mine is
Kim Trickett always helping others! see link for just giving to donate
and Becki's is Kimberley "beautiful" Trickett where you can contact us, see more pictures etc.
The music we played at Kim's funeral will always mean so much to me. Im having a very down day today and feel the need to play some of the songs. The one that means the most to me is "Please Remember" by Leanne Rimes. It makes me cry but I hope when I play it that Kim hears it and knows Im thinking of her.
Celine Dion "Fly"
Aiza Seguerra "Everything I own"
Tracy Chapman "The Promise"
Mariah Carey "Never Forget You"
R Kelly "The Storm Is Over Now"
Seriously beautiful songs for a seriously beautiful girl who I am missing so badly. I love you Sweetheart xxx
If anyone wants to buy any of the "Kimberley gifts of love" they are £1.00 each, plus 38p for postage and packing (all proceeds to Ashgate Hospice Hospice) and a stamped, self addressed envelope would be greatly appreciated as we want to raise as much as we can for our charity. If you wanted to buy a few then let me know how many and I will discount as much as possible on the postage and packing. Please note we only use wrapping paper with butterflies on and they can vary in colour quite a bit, as we use different wrapping paper every few, to make a nice change. We cover the costs of making them. Email me at tracieholocuk@btinternet.com or write to me at 105 High Street, Stonebroom, Alfreton, Derbyshire, DE55 6JY.
So far we have raised a grand total of £1,519.61!!!!! Great news and lots more to come, as we have loads of events planned, all fun and brilliant to keep us busy and in contact with Kims friends as well as our own and family. We are holding a "Kimmy Car Boot Sale" on the 23rd of August. Donations to which are very much appreciated (don't worry if you can't get your stuff together in time for that one...there will be other's) I am hoping to make some smiley face buns to sell on the day too : ) we are holding a Race Night (date to be arranged) and next year we are hoping to have a Full Monty night with disco, food and a raffle.
(just to let you know that we held the "Kimmy Car Boot" yesterday and raised a grand total of £454.00!!!!!!... We did you proud Kimmy .... see photo's on Kims facebook page)
Richard, Kims boyfriend.... actually started a new job the day that Kim passed away. He came and spent that last day with Kim and us and I have got to say how much I admire the way he has gone and got his head down and is doing really well at the job. Great respect to you Rich! Im very proud of you mate! and you know that Kim would be too.
Kim and Rich were together for nearly 3 years. They had so much fun together and complimented each other's different personalities well. Kim loved spending time round at Richards and thought alot about his family and lovely (mad as a brush) dog Oscar. They had brill holidays together with friends and on their own and spent alot of time together, talking and making plans of what to do next. There was always something good planned for the near future, despite treatments and hospitals. Not much stopped them going out. Rich was one person that Kim thought an awful lot about and for someone so young he was a God send to Kimberley when she needed him.
It's been just over a month since Kim passed and in some way's it seems like yesterday and in others it seem's alot longer. It's difficult to imagine that life can appear to be so "normal" when she's not here to share it with me anymore, however I treasure the book that Kim wrote some things in for me before she went. Im glad she managed to do that for me as it gives me the strength to try and live as "happily" as I can, as she wanted me to do.
I bought a bath from a converted chapel the other day. I went to view it prior to bidding on it and was comforted by the fact that there were butterflies around the place, it felt as though Kim was around and approved of the bath. I did'nt tell the people about Kim so was astounded when the man came to drop off the bath and around the tap was tied a pink ribbon with a paler pink butterfly attached. Kim and I had been doing up our house together and our next project was to be the bathroom. Kim always loved butterflies and told me when we were in Ashgate Hospice that she was going "to come back" as a butterfly! She most certainly is doing! and I plan to have a picture of a very beautiful butterfly in the bathroom when it's done.
Ive heard from Sue at Ashgate Hospice today that Kims plaque is now displayed on "Kim's garden" it has a picture of a butterfly on it and I am very pleased and comforted to know that Kim will be remembered for ever at the place that she died. I have bad days sometimes, today I have had alot more time to think about Kim after doing all the preperation for the car boot sale. Partly a good thing and partly bad. I try very hard not to get too down as Kim told me she wanted me to be as strong and happy as I could possibly be. I also know from losing my brother that it could be very difficult for my other two children and I don't want them to feel as though they "lost" their Mum as well as their sister. Both of them are going to be away on their holidays this week so Im hoping they have a lovely time after all they've been through.
It's 7 weeks today since Kim left me and I can hardly believe that. In some ways it seems forever and in others it's like yesterday. The pain of missing Kimberley is dreadful. I find myself doing normal things each day (sometimes wishing the day away) as each day I get through seems to be achievement and then wondering how I can possibly function relatively normally when my daughter is not here with me anymore. I loved spending time with Kim, she was great to talk to and share things with. We were friends as well as Mother and Daughter. People say you should'nt really do that but it just happened as the years went on. I have some brilliant friends who are being great and supportive through all this but I miss my Kimberley friend.
It will be Kim's 21st birthday on the 11th of September and goodness know's how Im going to feel that day but I have some special things planned with my family so I will spend a while wondering how Kim would have loved her special birthday to be .... I do so hope my precious butterfly is happy xxxx
This is the first bit of time I've spent on my own since Kimmy passed. I have got 5 days and I feel as though I am having some time to grieve for Kim in private. I feel very un-motivated today but hey tomorrow is another day and I will go and read some words of wisdom from Kim to give me some inspiration.
Kims story is to be published in issue 37 of Take A Break Magazine. It is a memorial tribute story and again will raise much needed money for Ashgate Hospice.
Only a few day's to go until Kim's birthday. I've ordered some sky lanterns to release that night which we can all write special messages on. Kim's birthday should have been such a massive celebration, 21 years. How am I supposed to celebrate? I guess Im going to try and celebrate and give massive thanks for having the honour of being Kim's mum and friend and having the pleasure of her in my life for nearly 21 years. That I will be eternally grateful for. We always used to go shopping on a Sunday afternoon, we generally ended up at Morrisons to get some stuff for Kim to take back to uni. It was a lonely trip today. Missing you so much sweetheart xxxx
I heard from Ashgate Hospice yesterday that so far we have managed to raise £2,698.51!!! that includes this money on Kims Just Giving so THANK YOU so much to everyone who is helping to keep Kim's memory alive and also helping other people who are in need of our support, kindness and friendship.
Fly
Fly fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
Fly fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure your soul is free
Be on your way don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise the sun will set
But I won't forget
Fly fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away the time is right
Go now find the light
These are the words of one of the above mentioned songs. It makes me think of Kim. It's Kims birthday on Friday (wed today) Im struggling this week. I feel very emotional and am finding it hard to be posative and "happy" as Kim wanted me to be. I think it's understandable and normal and I have to say I am now ready for my holiday next week. Kimmy's best friend Hannah and her boyfriend Shaun came round yesterday afternoon which was really good, I was pleased to see them. Last night, Rich, Dave and Katie came for tea which was also brilliant as I always like to see them, they talk about Kim which is good but sad too. Comforting for me to be around people who loved Kim and are'nt afraid to show it!
Well its the 13th of September, and I can't believe its 10 weeks since Kim passed. So much has happened since then and life does move on even though you sometimes don't want it to. I know for a fact now that I have to keep busy. Very busy.
We went to Lincoln for Kims 21st and it went really well. Alot better than I anticipated. We went for a meal to the BIg Wok (not a patch on the one at Nottingham) and then back to the hotel to set off our sky lanterns. We all wrote our messages for Kim and they were VERY special. We all agreed that it was a lovely thing to do. Added bonus when two policemen turned up to investigate (one was rather nice looking) and after I explained they had a couple of pictures with us (sadly they did'nt show up well lol)
The Take A Break article came out last Thursday, the day before Kim's birthday. It was a memorial tribute story and I have to say it has given me great comfort. I thought it was well written and a fitting tribute to Kim and the lovely, brave young lady that she was. I just wish she was still here and it never had to have been written. Anyway I was wary about it but it has helped me and Im glad it came out for Kims birthday.
Im putting the photos of Kims birthday night on facebook if anyone wants to see them.
To all our family and friends who so generously donated money to Kim's page here instead of birthday presents, THANK YOU so..... much! It is a lovely thing to do and gives me massive comfort. I am gratefull to have so many wonderful people in my life. Don't know what id do without you all!!!!
30th September. Well ive just come back from two weeks holiday in Majorca. Some very kind friends let us live in their beautiful villa over there which we were extremely grateful for. Thanks John and Sue! It has done me good and made me feel stronger.
Whilst I was there, I obviously had alot of time to think. I thought , yet again about what Kim's wedding day would have been like, what her children (maybe) would have been like, what they would have been called etc and all the other things a mother would naturally think about. That is futile and just makes you feel heartbroken so I decided instead to come home and write a list of all the things that I am so glad Kimberley had her in life and that I got to see and share with her.
I will add to this list as time goes by......
IM GLAD THAT ... I gave birth to such a beautiful person who was a pleasure to spend time with. Im glad that I had 20 years of watching my baby grow up to be someone I could be so very proud of and love so very much.
I am so glad of every single photo I have of Kim! They are so precious!
Im glad that Kim got accepted on to the Masters Nursing Degree at Nottingham. What an achievement for someone who spent so much time in hospitals undergoing operation after operation and treatment.
Im glad that Kim has inspired young and old to make something of their lives.
Im glad that Kim got to go out to clubs, pubs, restaraunts, theme parks, the seaside, London, cities, towns, placements, the countryside, ice-skating, football matches, the pictures, shows, concerts, swimming, bowling, church, museums, car racing, Lapland, Magaluf, Spain, Barcelona, and many more places
Im glad Kim got to dress up and party. To put make up on and do her hair so many diifferent ways over the years.Kim loved themes for going out, so many different outfits.
Im glad Kim got to read, study and learn.
Im glad to have seen her face every birthday and Christmas when she got something she loved.
Im glad that I saved every little thing she ever gave me or made for me (did I know)
Im glad that Kim loved our dog so much! she was so lovely with him and never complained about looking after him or walking him, always a pleasure, never a chore, she just loved him!
Im glad that Kim had her rabbit Robbie and her guinea-pig Cheek Chops (she loved them both very much and it showed in how she cared for them and the bond they had)
Im glad that Kim had her beloved car, a metallic green, x reg Corsa (she was left some money by her Gran to buy her first car but she worked at Tesco's and saved up and bought it herself. It was a good, reliable car and she absolutely loved it) (she used Grans money for uni)
Im glad I saw Kim on her first day at school (so pretty in her smart uniform)
Im glad Kim met Rich and he has been and still is a very special part of my life (he has gone through and seen things that have been so very hard for such a young man but he was steadfast, strong and steady and Kim loved him)
Im glad Kim had such good friends and that I have now got to know them even better now. They have been so supportive, kind and a pleasure to have around in such tragic circumstances. Again, for their ages, they have been so strong and I know that Kim will ALWAYS hold a very special place in their hearts.
Im glad Kim spent quality, loving time with her Dad and brother and sisters. There have been ups and downs but always a very strong bond that can never be broken and some brilliant, happy times and memories!
Im glad that Kim got to travel. Kim has had some really good holidays with us and Rich and her friends. I know that Kim was glad about this too as she wrote to my partner, Phil to thank him for the wonderful holidays and always being such a great and willing "taxi" driver.
Im glad that Kim and I decorated together. We did Kim's bedroom first (thank God) and she loved her bedroom and it's calmness and well chosen decor. We had "fun" working together but especially choosing the papers. I can laugh now but we put some Ikea wardrobes together then had to move them into Kims bedroom. Needless to say Kim was'nt very tall and I was obviously not strong enough and by the time both wardrobes were in Kims room, 2 of the legs had snapped off. At the time I was not amused, now it just gives me a memory of Kim and how she was so calm about it all "it'll be right mum" and of course, in the grand scheme of things, it was.
Im glad that Kim got to achieve her life times ambition to go to Uni. I'd never seen her so happy. She simply loved every minute of it. I am going on Saturday to scatter some ashes there and also take some for the friends she was supposed to be living with in the house she so longed to live in. That hurts badly.
So many things to be glad about .... I have to go now but this is just the very start of my list........ because I AM GOING TO BE GLAD
Hi everyone, just to let you know that our next fundraiser is going to be such a great night out! Arranged by one of my bestest friends Sam (Fresh Ideas Florists) It is on Saturday the 24th of October at The Hunloke Arms on Derby Road, Its a Race Night with free entry, buffet and some of the most amazing raffle prizes ever! Trust me you will gladly pass over your hard earned cash to buy raffle tickets for these prizes! It promises to be a great, fun night out so please come along and join in the fun. Be great to see you there! xxx (this event raised £2,000 with some small cash donations to be added) Thank you so much to Sam, Gavin and the team at The Hunloke Arms and all the very generous raffle prizes donated from some fantastic people and companies to support Ashgate Hospice in Kims memory.
Oct. 12th. Well I did my first ever speech last week for a calendar launch at Chandlers Bar in Chesterfield. I was asked to talk about Kim, Ashgate Hospice and Cancer Research. The proceeds from the calendar and raffle were for Ashgate, Cancer Research and NSPCC. I was shaking but it seemed to go well and I met some nice people there and also caught up with some of the people I got to know when Kim was poorly.
This year myself and my family have been invited by Peak fm to the Local Heroes Bravery award ceremony. Kim was awarded the adult bravery award in 2007 and this year it is been awarded in her name. That is going to be a hard night. The last time we went, Kim was with us and we had a great night.
I am finding that the more I tackle things head on, even the really difficult things, it makes me feel like I am doing things for Kim and her legacy of helping others.
So far we have raised £4,810.37! Kim would be proud of that.
I am also attending the Willow Foundation Charity ball in London soon. This brilliant organisation helped Kim and sent both her and rich on a fabulous trip to London when she was poorly.
Last weekend I met up with Kim's uni friends and Han and rich and we scattered Kims ashes in the lake on the Nottingham University campus. It was very emotional but I am relieved that I have somewhere beautiful to go to think of Kim and I know that's where she wanted to be so very much.
We attended The Peak fm Bravery Awards last Friday night where I made a speech about Kim and how she really appreciated being awarded The Adult Bravery Award in 2007. It was a very hard and emotional night for me. We had our picture taken as we did before.... Kim's not on it. Need I say more.
Lately I've started to think that a massive numbness, which has apparently been surrounding me since Kim passed, has started to wear off. I wish it would stay, big time. It's such a horrible, weird feeling, wanting Kim back with me everyday, enjoying life etc and knowing that I can't have her back. Knowing that it's futile to even think about it. I always believed most things were possible if you wanted them badly enough. I have to find acceptance and some days I have some, other day's I have very little. Keeping busy or doing nothing helps.
My dog is not doing too well at the moment, that bother's me as he comforts me a great deal.
Including the Race Night money, we have now raised a total of £6,837.10 with a few small cash donations to be added after they have been collected. Wow, Kim would be pleased with everyones selfless efforts to help other people in her very precious memory.
6th Nov. last saturday I went to a memorial service at Clay Cross Methodist. I was quite "looking forward" to it and made the big mistake of not taking any tissues with me. I walked in with some lillies for Kim and walked to the front where you could write a message on a leaf and light a candle. Well it was one of those things that light gas cookers and would it work on my candle, no it would not. What did i do, started to cry, and could I stop, no I could'nt. Just goes to show it can really hit you when you are not expecting it at all. I got to see Johnathan (our pastor) and had a hug. I also picked up a few poems. I had read them all before but the following one means something to me. I wish i could write poetry. It is something that I have never been able do. It would be a good outlet of emotion and some good ones can have lasting effects and comfort to others. Poem to follow, it does'nt seem to want to come on here weirdly.
until I write again........
There is so much more to say and photo's to show you. Please just bear with me and watch this space.
