I am doing it for the kids!! 

You have to sponsor me or my children will end up without the much needed books and sports facilities that an inner city poverty stricken school is lacking. Therefore I will have to send them back up north to work down the mines just as I did as a child.  

To earn your hard earned cash I will be dragging my northern ass up and down a swimming pool 40 times on Sunday 6th June when really I should be drinking a big glass of red wine!

So please sponsor me,  even if its only 50p - every little helps says Mr Tesco and I agree!