I'm going to be walking 50 km along the Grand Union Canal in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital.

To clarify, I'll be walking beside the canal. Not on it. 

There's going to be grass and water and trees and insects and - probably - angry cows. I don't like nature. There aren't enough pubs there.

So, think of the kiddies we're raising money for and my fellow walkers as they have to listen to me grumbling for 31.07 miles that I can't get a decent bloody cup of coffee and complaining that trees don't have built in WiFi.

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